Challenge! Case of the 100 Short Stories!
by Abe Lincoln Lover
Summary: Join the cast of Detective Conan and Magic Kaito throughout one hundred short stories. Humor, tragedy, and everything inbetween awaits!
1. Spitting

_Pew! _

_Pew! Pew!_

Hakuba stared straight ahead, trying his hardest to ignore the wads of paper being spit at his head by a certain annoying classmate. It really wouldn't have been so bad if they were _just_ wad of paper. But no, Kuroba Kaito enjoyed making Hakuba's life miserable.

And so because of that, every time Kuroba spit the paper at him, his hair changed a different color. He was embarrassed and angry, despite the fact that pretty much everyone in the room barely paid attention to Kuroba's antics. They were used to it, thus allowing them to continue on in the lesson.

The teacher was especially good at ignoring it. She continued on with her lecture about the laws of physics (or something along those lines) and pointedly ignored the side of the classroom where her pupil was being annoying. It was the best thing for her, anyway – her psychiatrist had deduced long ago that her constant headaches were because of a certain someone – so she decided that not giving the boy attention was the best way to go. He just acted up more when she confronted him about his behavior.

All in all, the only person that visibly showed that they were aware of something going on was Kuroba. He snickered occasionally, but mostly just laughed. Once – though nobody can prove this – he giggled like a little girl.

Finally, the end of the day came for Hakuba. _Ah, the beautiful sound of the ringing bell. Time to go home and prepare... for... the Kid heist... oh no WHY?_

It had donned on the detective, as he exited the school building, that he would be facing off against Kaitou Kid, internationally wanted thief. He had high suspicions of it being his annoying classmate, but no proof of it as of yet. _Any if he begins to spit wads of paper at me, it can only be counted as coincidence. Tonight's going to be horrible._

**~ Later ~**

Hakuba stood with his back facing the wall, which was only a few feet away. He was certain that Kid would never be able to hide there – he would sense him, he was sure – but, as always, the thief proved him wrong. Right as the clocks all around Tokyo hit the announced time, the detective felt something hit his neck. Then another thing, then another. Five more. He spun around with an agitated look engraved into every fiber of his face.

"Kuroba, just stop already!"

The thief blinked. "Kuroba? Who's he?"

"Stop playing dumb!"

"Wait – Kuroba _Kaito_? Oh, isn't he one of my biggest fans?"

"No, he's you!"

"Why would you ever think that?"

"It's so obvious! And look -" Hakuba reached out and ripped the monocle off the Kid's face, "I have all the proof I need... right... here..." he slowed his sentence to a halt, because there, looking at him, was himself.

They blinked in unison. The detective then mentally shook himself and reached out to pull the mask off the thief's face.

It didn't come off.

"What? How is this even possible! I'm me! You're not me! You're supposed to be Kuroba, not me!"

The Kid took his hat off and bowed gracefully, saying, "When the possible solutions are wrong, the answer is the impossible."

Then, with a puff of pink smoke, the thief disappeared.

Elsewhere, a certain high-school magician was standing in his bathroom, facing the mirror, and untying the ribbons that held the Hakuba mask in place. He said aloud,

"What a shame. They never take into account that I might actually tie the mask in place one day, do they?"


	2. Riddle

He looked around at his surroundings, noting the white walls, ceiling and floor. The room was empty, aside from the mirror hanging on the wall furthest from him and the table that was right next to him. The table, he discovered as he examined it, was flexible and not that sturdy. He filed that knowledge in his brain, just in case he needed it. Something about the situation seemed oddly familiar.

The teen then turned his attention towards the mirror. In it, he could see a reflection of himself, completed all the way to his white top hat and monocle. His cape flowed down from his shoulders, but he doubted that it would be any use to him. What good was a hang-glider cape if you were stuck in a room with no doors or windows?

Yes, that was definitely odd. Why was there no exit? How had he even gotten in here? All he remembered was being at the heist, and when he touched the jewel, he... sort of blacked out.

Ah. It was all the jewel's fault. What had possessed him to try and steal it, anyway? The thing had been rumored to have magical powers, and even Akako had tried to convince him not to take it. He had shrugged all the warnings off, and now here he was, in a room with no windows or doors. The only things he had to help him were his numerous gadgets, a table, and a mirror.

Well, his gadgets certainly wouldn't be any help. What would he use a smoke bomb for? Or sleeping gas? And there wasn't anything he could use his lock-pick on. That only left the mirror and the table...

He felt like he was missing something. What use could a mirror be? The table might be some help (he could break a leg off and use it as a weapon or something... maybe whack Hakuba a lot, heheh), but a mirror?

His breath caught as he figured out what was familiar about the situation. He snickered as he remembered Aoko's voice, asking him what he would do if he was stuck in this situation (minus the Kid clothing). Smirking, he walked over to the mirror and stared at it.

_Okay... so I look in the mirror. That's the first step. Then... how do I 'see what I saw'? Wait, there's an image appearing OH MAN THAT'S A SAW!_

He reached out and grabbed the saw. His smile widened and he grinned from ear to ear as he imagined sawing Hakuba in half with the tool in his hand. He shook his head as he went to the table, trying to get back to business. He positioned himself over the table, and set the saw on it and began to work.

Soon enough the table was in half, and a very tired Kaitou Kid was sitting on the ground. _Why was that table so hard to cut? It didn't look as strong as it was..._

He stood up again and grabbed the two pieces of table. Aloud, he spoke, "Okay, so I cut the table in half. Done. Two halves make a whole? On it."

Ramming the two halves at each other, his eyes widened as a bright flash erupted. _Did the table just explode? I'm sure I'm not that strong, but... that's still pretty cool. Hey, is that – oh, yes it is! Two halves of a table _do_ make a _hole_!_

There, right in front of him, was a hole in the floor, about four feet in diameter. The teen got down on all fours and began to climb through it.

_Whoever said that I've got it easy is going to get strangled, _thought Kid as he dodged a spider in the tunnel. _And whoever got me in here is also going to get strangled. Stupid table gave me a blister on my thumb..._

**AN: Okay, everyone understood what was happening, right? For those who haven't heard the riddle, "You're stuck in a room with no doors or windows. There are only two things in the room with you – a mirror and a table. What do you do?", you probably won't understand this story. Try to answer that riddle if you haven't. Answer is below.**

**ANSWER: You look in the mirror, see what you saw, take the saw, saw the table in half, two halves make a whole, climb out the hole.**

**Kaito: That was possibly your worst plot for a story ever.**

**Me: LALALALALA I'M NOT LISTENING! Oh, and if you continue to say things like that I will literally rip you in half with the help of piranhas.**

**Kaito: O.O**

**Me: Hehehehe.**


	3. Science

**AN: Before you begin to read, let me just say that it'll all become clear at the end. Don't try to guess what "that" is... you'll probably be wrong! Hehehe~!**

**Kind of short. Perhaps I'll write another one soon to make up for this!**

The bell had just rung, ending their period of life science. The pair were now walking down the hallway, discussing their previous class. Kaito turned to Aoko, asking, "Can you believe we have to learn about... _**that**_... in science class?"

"Duh, Kaito. It's life science. Of course that's going to be mentioned."

"But... it's so..."

"Stop complaining! Everybody else has to learn about it, too. Plus, it's really not that bad – you're the only one who has a problem with it. It's nature."

"But _**that**_ type of nature is scary."

"What's wrong with you?"

Kaito had begun whimper. The girl just sighed and walked away. Calling back over her shoulder, she said, "You're going to have to deal with it. We're learning about fish this whole week."

The boy shivered.

**This is probably the only thing I have written that even comes close to being rated T. My other stories are rated T just in case.**


	4. The Detective Girl

I threw my bag down in an angry burst of rage. Suddenly, I smiled and left for my room in the best mood ever imaginable. Yes, that's right. I am a girl teenager with massive mood swings.

I have blonde hair and blue eyes. I am a good Catholic girl raised by my 100% German parents. I believe that one day unicorns will rule the world with me as their leader. The dragons will bow down in fear of us.

Sadly, that day has not come yet. I wait, yawning each morning and collapsing into bed at night, tired from going through my junior year of high school. The homework is so hard – I'm taking all Regents classes. The AP kids think they're all cool, but they get extra help in their classes. I just know it. Regents is the hardest type of class in the whole school.

Oh yeah, there's one more thing you should know about me – I'm a famous detective. I've helped the police put murderers behind bars several times. Those people would have NEVER confessed, but luckily, I found evidence supporting my reasoning. Like this one time...

_ "See ya later, Chelsey!" Amanda screamed after me. Laughing hysterically, I bounded down the road with a smile the size of Thomas Jefferson's wig. All of a sudden, cop cars streamed down the street in a blinding vision of red and a deafening sound of the siren._

_ Running after them, I got to the scene of the crime. It was at an amusement park called "Tropical Land". I saw all the suspects and was like "OMG look there's Jimmy Kudo and some other random girl". Jimmy went off to investigate the coaster, so I took the time to analyze the crime. An inspector was there giving Jimmy and this Rachel girl the "benefit of the doubt" and saying that they didn't go crazy and commit the crime. Ha ha, I wouldn't let any suspect off the hook like that. That Rachel girl was my number one prime suspect. It had to be her._

_ But then again, there was that other girl. She sat right next to the victim. It had to be her. Crying out my deduction, the girl was momentarily stunned and said repeatedly that it wasn't her. The officers opened her bag to search for the murder weapon, and there it was, lying right on top of everything. Case closed!_

_ That girl got put into jail because of my expertise. Jimmy Kudo didn't stand a chance. But there was one more thing for me to investigate. At the scene of the crime, there were these two shady guys. I bet they had something to do with the crime. Running after them, I followed them into a dark alley. Seeing the Kudo boy up ahead, I ran to catch up to him. I heard something snap – probably a twig I stepped on – and stood right behind him. All of a sudden, this guy with really long hair who was on the roller coaster stepped out of the darkness and swung down on my head with a baseball hat, and quickly did the same to Jimmy. We stumbled forward, landing on the hard grass. The two men spoke to each other, and fed Jimmy and I some weird drug. And guess what!..._

_ We shrunk!_

_It had to be the power of unicorns. It just had to be. Quickly, the two of us ran away from the alley and went to his house. We were too small, so we couldn't get in the gates. Luckily, Jimmy saw his neighbor blow his house up, so we told him everything. At first he didn't believe us, so I pulled down my pants to show him a birthmark I had on my butt I mean Jimmy used some reasoning to deduct where the guy had just been._

_ When we were let into Jimmy's house, I explained my theory about the drugs. Without waiting for an response from them, I ran out the door to catch unicorns so that I could make the antidote. Running to the police station to inform them of my current state, I tripped over a rock and fell into a puddle that was glowing magical colors. Falling through the puddle which was actually a portal to a magical land, I got really frustrated and started crying, but then my mood swing swung back around and I got really happy again. The thing I loved the most about the land was that there were unicorns everywhere! To the left of me was Unicorn Meadows, to the right was Unicorn Stables, and to the front of me was Unicorn Antidotes._

_ I jogged up the path to Unicorn Antidotes and told the Unicorn Pharmacist that I needed two antidotes for my shrinkage. He took two of them out of the counter and placed them in a unicorn bag and said "That'll be two Unicorn Coins". I didn't have any Unicorn Coins, so I asked him where I could get some. Pointing his hoof at Unicorn Stables, he replied "Sometimes unicorns eat stuff they shouldn't and it comes out the other end. Dig through the unicorn poop if you want". I needed the Unicorn Coins, so I went to Unicorn Stables. Sadly, it had just been cleaned – the cleaning unicorn was literally just leaving – so all the unicorn poop was GONE._

_ Thinking to myself, I thought "Well, obviously they had to eat something in order to poop out the Unicorn Coins, so it would obviously be...". Ha ha. I knew where to find the Unicorn Coins. But I just didn't know which one..._

_ Jogging to Unicorn Meadows, I confronted a unicorn. Thinking that maybe the Unicorn Coins were there, I ripped his head off. Nope, wrong unicorn. Spotting yet another unicorn, I ripped its head off as well, but no coins. I continued this until the only unicorns left in Unicorn World was the Unicorn Pharmacist and the Unicorn King. As I prepared to leave Unicorn Meadows without a single Unicorn Coin, I spotted an entire sack of them by the entrance. Taking the entire sack with me, I ran to Unicorn Antidotes and talked to the Unicorn Pharmacist. Giving him two Unicorn Coins, he gave me the two Unicorn Antidote pills. Remembering the sack of coins I had, I gave it to him, for which he gave me..._

_ Running back to the Unicorn World portal, I came flying out of the puddle. Running to Jimmy Kudo's house, I dropped off the antidote and ran to the amusement park. There was what I expected there – a bunch of kids smoking pot. But there was also something else... an organization. A Black Organization._

_ Approaching them, I said "Nya nya nya nya nya you can't kill me!" and ran behind a ladder. Taking out the object I had bought with the sack of Unicorn Coins, I aimed it at the group of them and pulled the trigger on my flame thrower! HA HA HA LOOK AT ALL THE FLAMES._

The black organization was ended by me. Jimmy turned back into himself and I turned back into myself. Everything was the way it was before.

Except now the unicorn species is extinct because the Unicorn Pharmacist was a guy.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hehe, I found this story while looking through my Word documents. It's genius. I know there's a lot of spoof stories out there, but I really liked this one I wrote, so I went ahead and put it up. It's a bit immature, but I wrote it a few years ago! Give me a break!<strong>

**It's been a while since my last update, so I hope you enjoy this! It might be a while until my next update (SORRY SORRY SORRY).**


	5. Turning In

The realization dawned on him, as he stood, dressed in white, on top of the rooftop and holding only a few red glass-like fragments. The ethereal glow it held mere minutes before was gone. His mission was finally finished. He could go back to being Kuroba Kaito, a normal high schooler at Ekoda High. He didn't have to worry about finding Pandora or being caught by the police, or even about getting killed by Snake. All of that was taken care of, and he needn't bother thinking about that anymore. He didn't have to be Kaitou Kid anymore.

If only life were that simple.

For him, there was still the fact that, although Snake and his men were put behind bars and Pandora was destroyed, he had to find out exactly why his dad became a thief in the first place. It didn't bother him that much anymore, actually – but he still wanted the truth. He was like Hakuba in that way.

He now had to make up his mind. Would he continue this selfish mission of his without a noble cause to back it up? He had no reason to steal now. That immortality gem was the one thing that justified his career, and with that gone...

His mind was set, and so, when he hung up his costume for the night, he was certain that it would be the last time he did so.

* * *

><p>Walking down the hallways of his school after a heist always felt strange. That particular day, though, he felt out of place. He had decided the night before that he was going to stop his thievery and just go through life normally. All things considered, it was the most reasonable, legal, and safe thing to do – his father had started the whole act, and Kaito knew what happened to him.<p>

Of course, he let the Kaitou Kid task force know about his retirement. It wouldn't do to have the whole lot of them sitting around in their office, waiting for him to drop his notice by. Their superiors would decide that they were doing absolutely nothing and still getting paid, and then they'd get fired. He wouldn't let that happen to Inspector Nakamori, especially since he was Aoko's dad.

That's why he was so confused when he walked into class, only to be greeted by Aoko's furious face. Why wasn't she happy? Kaitou Kid was going to be gone from her life - the one thing she wanted more than anything! Did she want the thief in jail? _No can do, _smirked Kaito. _The police had their chance._

He was brought out of his revery by a loud shout from Aoko. "THAT STUPID THIEF THINKS HE CAN JUST WALTZ OUT OF MY DAD'S GRASP? IF I EVER GET MY HANDS ON HIM, I SWEAR I'LL -"

"Aoko, I'm sure everyone's disappointed. Just look at Hakuba, pouting at his desk like that..." A devious grin came to Kaito's face as he spoke and thought about how to tease the detective about his failure.

And thus the day continued, almost as normal as before Kid showed up after his eight year absence. A thought still plagued the former thief, and thought it put a damper on his spirits, he didn't let it show through. After all, what type of a magician would he be if his Poker Face didn't work?

* * *

><p>That night left him thoughtful. Things had not gone according to plan – when did they ever? - and that had saddened him. He wasn't annoyed, not by any means. It was just really disheartening to find out that no matter what he did, Aoko would always hate Kaitou Kid. But there was always one solution left...<p>

The idea chilled him to the core. Did he like her that much that he would be willing to do that for her?

Of course he did.

So, his plan still being constructed in his mind, he began to pen his last Kid notice to the police.

* * *

><p>Being in school filled him with dread. His stomach knotted and turned, and he felt he was going to be sick. He never thought he would admit it, but he was <em>nervous.<em>

The teachers had been notified of this very special occasion, and so a TV had been wheeled into each classroom in the school. Nobody wanted to miss this historic event. Even Aoko had a smile on her face, which was very strange since this occasion had to do with Kaitou Kid. She was probably just excited about what was going to happen to him.

Akako shot a confused and worried look at Kaito. He brushed it off – he didn't need anyone telling him he was crazy, or that the entire thing was a really bad idea. He already knew that. It didn't help either when Hakuba stared at him, wondering what the heck he was planning.

In fact, all the students had their minds on Kaito. Their thoughts weren't centered on him, but they all gave him a curious glance when he walked in. He, after all, was one of the top suspects for being Kid, and they had all heard Hakuba's accusations at least five times.

Everyone was also equally confused on one thing – why had Kid, after announcing his retirement, decided to send yet another letter to the cops, telling them he wanted to turn himself in?

The students pondered this until ten minutes before the announced time of Kid's appearance. Aoko turned to Kaito and nudged him in the ribs, and with good spirits, joked, "You better head to the bathroom now so that you don't miss Kid. You miss him all the other times..."

The boy turned to her, and with a serious face, nodded. He then asked the teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and when he reached the doorway, he turned and said to the class, "I'm off to do my favorite thing in the whole world! Bye!"

The response was a few disgusted "ew's".

* * *

><p>Kaito ran through the hallways of the school and into the bathroom. Seemingly without a care in the world, he rushed to the wall and hopped head-first through the window. Sprinting a mile in record time, he finally made it to the heist location.<p>

He had five minutes to go. He made his way through the thick crowds, still panting heavily from his run. As he looked at everyone, he saw that pretty much everyone had a "We'll Miss You, KID" shirt on. He smirked to himself as he passed two high school girls wearing Teitan High uniforms on – apparently that school had let out early – and caught a bit of their conversation.

"Why does he have to turn himself in? He hasn't married me yet~!"

"Sonoko! He's a criminal! At least he's finally doing the right thing."

"He was supposed to carry me off with him to live happily forever!"

The two girls froze as they looked at Kaito. He only had time to curse before the brunette got into her karate stance.

"Shinichi, you stupid -"

"Wait, wait, wait! Hold on! I'm not 'Shinichi'!"

The girl deadpanned. "You expect me to believe that? You're a terrible liar."

"No, no – I'm serious! My name's Kuroba Kaito!" He conjured up a rose and handed it to her. "It's nice to meet you."

Her face flushed and she stuttered out an apology, "I'm sorry! You – you just look a lot like my friend!"

The blonde added, "He's been missing a while, so his wife here has been missing him for a while."

"Sonoko!"

"Well, it's been really nice to meet you, but I've got to get going. Bye!"

Kaito left the girls and began to run through the crowd, trying to spot Inspector Nakamori. He was near one of the TV reporters stationed all around the area. As he began to make his way towards him – and towards his inevitable doom – he felt like someone was watching him. Turning around, he saw a familiar face a few feet away. Cursing again as the person approached him, he wondered how the day could get worse.

"What's the point, Kid?" Conan questioned as he came nearer.

Kaito tried to salvage his identity, at least for that time. It would be revealed in due time, but he didn't want the small detective to ruin his plans. "Kid? I'm not Kid."

"Stop playing innocent. We both know you're not really Kudou Shinichi."

"Uh, yeah, I'm pretty sure I know that. My name's Kuroba Kaito."

"That's a terrible lie, Kid. What are the chances of two people having the same face?"

"Why do people keep thinking I'm this 'Shinichi' person? That brunette back there almost pummeled me to a pulp because of that. Come to think of it, she looks a lot like my friend Nakamori Aoko..."

"Oh, so you're friends with the daughter of the Inspector whose purpose in life is to catch you. You're a horrible liar, you know that?"

"I'm not Kaitou Kid! Jeeze, why do people keep thinking that? First it's Hakuba, and now you. And you're just a stupid little brat. What do you know?"

Before the other could respond, Kaito swiftly melted back into the crowd and began making his way to the Inspector again. People really needed to stop interrupting him. He had already lost two minutes of his precious time. A tap on his shoulder didn't help.

Groaning, he turned around to see yet another detective – one that, despite his fame, wasn't the brightest bulb. It was Mouri Kogoro.

"So, Kudou, you've -"

"WILL YOU PEOPLE STOP MISTAKING ME FOR THIS KUDOU GUY!"

He stomped the rest of the way to Aoko's dad.

* * *

><p>"Oh, hey Ojisan!"<p>

"Kaito-kun, aren't you supposed to be in school right now?"

"Uh... I kind of skipped. I wouldn't miss seeing Kid for the world!"

The man nodded absently. Kaito narrowed his eyes – the Inspector was obviously tensed about something. Possibly – actually, most likely – the Kid 'heist'. It wasn't really a heist, after all. He was just turning himself in.

His attention was caught when the voice of a female spoke, and it became clear, as the man angrily responded, that they were having an argument. The woman was obviously a reporter for a TV station, so that must mean...

"Ojisan, why don't you want these people to film?"

"Stay out of it, Kaito-kun. Now, miss, you -"

"Ah, you're name is Kaito-kun? Kaito-kun, would you mind if we filmed you? Just talk about how excited you are for Kid's appearance." The reporter turned to Kaito.

"Okay~!" The camera clicked on. The woman spoke, but he didn't really listen, and when he was handed the microphone, he began. "Hello, I'm Kuroba Kaito! I really look up to Kaitou Kid, since I'm a magician just like him! I can't wait until he shows up!"

"That's great, Kuroba-kun. Now, I heard from Inspector Nakamori that you skipped school to come here. Do you really care so much that you'd risk your grades?"

"I don't think that it'd be the same here without me," he laughed. "But, you know, I think this is one of those weird coincidences in history."

"Hmm? How so?"

"Well, think about it. The person you choose to interview, out of thousands of people here, just happens to be... Kaitou Kid!"

With a puff of smoke, he quickly changed to his white suit and cape. The fog cleared, and left him with a cocky grin on his face. "Go figure, eh?"

He continued, "Well, I've come here for one purpose. There's no gem for me to steal," he began walking over to the angry Inspector. He held his hands out.

"Arrest me."

The Inspector wasted no time. He slapped the iron handcuffs onto his wrists, and with a procession of cops, filed into the police car. Halfway to the car, he snapped his fingers.

"Shoot! I forgot to do something! Oh, well, nothing of importance," he winked at the camera lens.

He walked to the rest of the way to the car without another interruption. Before getting in, however, Kaito took one last look at the camera, and with his Poker Face grin, waved good-bye.

* * *

><p>One week later the trial was held. Of course, he was found guilty. His identity was announced to the public – though most people had figured that Kid was Kuroba Kaito, some had a sneaking suspicion that he was just in disguise – and Inspector Nakamori tried his hardest to help him by trying to lower the number of years he would spend in prison, saying that he couldn't have commit all the thefts, since he was only seventeen.<p>

The Inspector felt he had done a good job in convincing the judge, and told Kaito that. Both were surprised, though, when the judge announced his sentence – death.

Kaito sighed, knowing there was no use in complaining. The other man, however, was outraged, so he spoke quietly to him, "There's no use. He probably was blackmailed. I've made a lot of enemies."

In turn, the Inspector replied, "You're a good kid, Kaito-kun. I can't do anything about the sentence, but please know that I'm strongly opposed to it. I'm so sorry, but there's nothing I can do now. My hands are tied."

He smiled, not his Kid grin, but a real, sincere, smile. "Thanks. Coming from you, that means a lot. Oh, could you do me one favor?"

"Anything."

"Tell Aoko... tell her I said 'good-bye'."

With a nod, the Inspector allowed Kaito to be taken into the hands of the prison guards.

* * *

><p>Inspector Nakamori came home late that day. When he walked in the door, the first thing he noticed was that his daughter was sitting on the couch, clutching an envelope. It was still sealed, so he could only guess that she had waited until he came home so that they could open it together. They were both quiet, so he decided to tell his news and get it over with.<p>

"They sentenced him to death, Aoko. I'm sorry."

She looked up at him, and it appeared that she had been crying for awhile.

"He... told me to tell you 'good-bye'."

"Dad? Remember last week, when you were leading him to the police car, and he snapped his fingers? Well, our class was watching it, and the moment that happened, this envelope suddenly fell onto my desk."

"Do you want me to read it with you?"

"Yeah. I couldn't bring myself to open it, but now I hope there's some sort of explanation in there."

"Me, too."

With quick precision, he opened the envelope and took the paper out. Unfolding it, he held it between his daughter and him so they could both read at the same time. As he went through the letter, he became subconsciously aware that Aoko was crying again.

_Dear Aoko and Ojisan,_

_ I'm sorry that this had to happen. I turned myself in because, well, I felt guilty about it all. I felt guilty about lying to everyone, especially you two. I suppose you're looking for some type of explanation so you can justify my actions._

_ Don't you think I'm a bit young to be Kaitou Kid? After all, he was around before I was even born. The truth is, my dad was the first one. That's why Kid disappeared eight years ago. I'm a bit disappointed in the police for not figuring that one out – it's too big of a coincidence to ignore – but don't take it to personally. So, last year when Kid reappeared, I decided I would try to "face off" against him. I learned from this new Kid that my dad had been the original, so I decided to be Kaitou Kid to learn why exactly this all happened._

_ When I stole the Blue Birthday, that's when everything pretty much started. I came face to face with the criminal Snake – remember, the guy arrested recently? - and found out he had murdered my dad by rigging his equipment. I also learned that there was this jewel named "Pandora" which supposedly gave immortality to whoever drinks its 'tears'. Heh, it sounds like I'm high, but I know what I heard. If anything, it was those guys who were high._

_ Anyway, I decided to look for Pandora and destroy it before they got their hands on it. Sure enough, I found it. I decided I was finished with this whole thievery business. That's when I sent my retirement letter to you, Ojisan. But when I went to school, I was greeted by you, Aoko, complaining about Kaitou Kid just walking off the scene. Aoko, please don't feel guilty about that at all – this was my decision, not yours. If I find out you're blaming yourself, then I will hunt you down and beat that stupidity out of you._

_ -Kaito_

_PS: Koizumi Akako probably has some way to contact me, since she's a crazy witch. I'm not joking. If you have anything you want to send me, she'll most likely have a way to get it to me. See you when I get out of jail! :D_


	6. Letters

To Kaito-kun,

Welcome to the neighborhood! These cookies are chocolate chip and I made them myself. It's been very nice to meet you. My dad told me that we'll be going to the same school when summer's over. Are you as excited as I am?

From,

Nakamori Aoko

.o.O.o.

Dear Kaito-chan,

Happy 9th birthday! We're so proud of you! It feels like just yesterday you were practicing your first magic trick... but now you've mastered hundreds! Daddy wants to know if you would like to perform with him next week since you're a big boy now.

Love,

Mommy and Daddy

.o.O.o.

To Kaito-kun,

I am very sorry about what happened to your father. He was a good man. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always open. But I'm sure your father wouldn't want you sitting around feeling sad about what occurred at the show. He would want you to know that he's in a better place now.

-Nakamori Ginzo

.o.O.o.

To Kaito,

Happy Valentine's Day! Do you want to come over to my house later this week?

-Aoko

.o.O.o.

Dear Kaito-chan,

Happy 12th birthday! I hope this day is as special as always! Would you mind putting on a show to display what you've learned for me? The living room is already prepped so 'no' is not an answer. ;)

Love,

Mommy

.o.O.o.

Dear Future Me,

We had to do this stupid class assignment. I'm 8 years old, why do I have to write this dumb thing? But you are (I mean I am) fourteen, so you probably don't remember everything. I'll fill you in; My birthday's next week – Yippee! - and Aoko-kun's coming – Yippee! Also, daddy told me he'll put on an extra special show for me on my birthday. I hope I become as a good as him one day.

-Kuroba Kaito

.o.O.o.

Kaito,

I'm sorry I never told you, but I really am the Kaitou Kid. There is a gem called Pandora somewhere out in the world that supposedly sheds immortality tears. I understand that you are old enough now to know that no such power should ever be granted to a person.

-Kuroba Toichi

.o.O.o.

Dear Kuroba Kaito,

I hate you. Why didn't you ever tell me? Did you think I couldn't keep a secret?

With hatred,

Nakamori Aoko

.o.O.o.

Dear Kaito,

I'm so sorry...

-Aoko

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Seriously, I have no idea where this came from. Any ideas as to what's going on are greatly appreciated. And if there are any mistakes, just let me know.<strong>

**Come to think of it, I've been writing a lot of sad stuff for a while. That's it - the next story has got to be happy.**


	7. Art

The heist had been going normally. Everything had worked out perfectly. But one thing bugged him about the way it had turned out, and it still boggled his mind, even as he thought about it.

How had he wound up in an art classroom?

It was completely random, and yet he had no memory of getting there. He couldn't remember being a complete moron and saying, "Hey, I'll just head over to some random school and hide out in their art room. Surely that makes sense."

He was pretty sure he hadn't been drinking, either, or been on drugs. He didn't do that type of thing, and actually, he hated those things. So, then, what was the reason why he was in an art room? There WAS a reason, right?

Of course, there didn't need to be a reason. Life could be as cruel, ironic, or unfair as it wanted to be. And right now, it apparently had decided that it wanted to be just plain weird. You know, with a capital W.

Actually, there was no plausible explanation that he could think of to tell him what was going on. Anything he came up with was too stupid and impossible to even be considered as a real thought about the situation. Because seriously, why had he been suddenly transported (he had definitely not gone there of his own free will) to some random classroom?

A creak of the door was all the warning he got. Ducking behind a life-size sculpture, he mimicked its pose and watched with careful eyes as the mysterious person stepped into the room. Then he narrowed his eyes with disgust.

The man stood in the center of a bunch of random paintings and clay models. He was dressed in a brown trench coat and hat, but his most distinguishing feature was his horseshoe mustache. He looked around with a turn of his head, and decided that his enemy was not here, and promptly left through the door he had entered through.

_How the heck did Snake even get here? _A very confused Kid wondered.

At that moment, the moon shifted slightly and its beams suddenly lit up the entire room. The thief was vaguely aware of a blue light emitting from the direction of his hand but – wait, what? A blue light? That definitely wasn't there before...

Staring at the gem in his hand, he determined that it was certainly the source of the blue light. Not knowing what else to do, he dropped the jewel, and suddenly, he was standing on the roof of a tall skyscraper, like he had been before his sudden transportation. Shaking himself, he jumped off the roof and released his hang-glider, and for the rest of the way home, he refused to think of the mysterious incident that had occurred.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Heheh, look, a gem with magical powers! It's too bad I was aiming for a "serious" story, so I couldn't add in the details I wanted. For example, when Kaito dropped the jewel, I really wanted him to eat it, but that would just confuse everyone, so I left it out. If I was truly in charge of how these stories were written, they would be a whole lot more awesomer, right?<strong>


	8. Look Alikes

"But Raaaannnnn..."

"I said 'no', Sonoko."

"Whyyyy? How can you pass up a perfectly good opportunity to see Kaitou Kid-sama~?"

Ran stared at her friend, wondering how she could be completely serious about her question. Kaitou Kid was a thief and didn't deserve to be idolized by millions of people. Why would she even want to see him make fun of the police and commit a crime?

Shaking her head, Ran would surprised by a sudden 'hmph' from the blonde. Sonoko frowned and said, walking away, "If you won't come with me, I guess I'll go by myself."

At a loss of what to say, the brunette allowed her friend to leave.

.o.O.o.

"KAITOU KID! KAITOU KID! KAITOU KID!"

The chant echoed through the busy and crowded streets of the town. There were mothers with children, businessmen with briefcases and teenagers hanging out with friends all throughout the mob that had formed. Everywhere, people seemed to have the same shirt on, which read, "KAITOU KID STOLE MY HEART".

In was in the midst of this all that a girl with short blonde hair stood, dressed up in the fanciest clothes she owned. Her face was completely covered and overdone in makeup. Off to the side of her, a little whiles away, stood another girl who had messy brown hair and reminded the blonde girl of her own friend, Ran. That girl was apparently arguing with her friend who looked remarkably like someone who had been missing for a while. Noticing this, the girl made her way over to them.

"I can't believe you always take the side of that stupid thief!"

"**I **can't believe that **you** can't see what's so good about Kaitou Kid – oh, hello..."

The two teens stopped their fight to greet this stranger (a tad bit awkardly, I might add). The newcomer paid no heed to this, replying back, "Hello! I'm Suzuki Sonoko! My uncle's the one who owns the gem that Kaitou Kid-sama's going to be stealing! I hope he sweeps me off my feet this time..."

Sonoko beamed at the two, who obviously didn't know what to do. Finally, Kaito spoke up. "I see you're a fan of Kid's, too... well, I was just trying to convince my friend, Aoko here, that he's the awesomest guy in the world."

The girl named Aoko looked furious. "How can you even say that? My dad tries his hardest to catch him, but Kid just makes fun of him all the time. He's a real -"

"Woah, Aoko, no need to call people names. Anyway, Suzuki-san, what brings you here to our stupid debate?" Aoko glared as her friend spoke.

"Ah, well..." Sonoko looked a bit nervous. The boy looked and sounded just like Ran's 'husband', and it was no way someone could look just like someone else. Regaining her confidence in her deduction, she began again. "Ran's been worried sick over you! And here you are, dating another girl and just leaving her hanging! You owe everyone an explanation, right here, and right now!"

The boy's eyebrows raised and he began to sweat. The Suzuki girl was going to flip out on him, and even though she wasn't as good at fighting as all the other girls he knew, she could easily knock him out if she wanted. And to make matters worse, Aoko had gotten this demonic look in her eyes, and if he didn't get himself out of this situation fast, the rich girl was going to be the least of his worries. Quickly, he cleared his throat and glanced at his watch.

"Ah-ha-ha, will you look at the time, it's just about time for me to head to the bathroom."

Both girls deadpanned at him (while steadily getting angrier, of course). _Who was I kidding with that excuse? Oh well, might as well clear everything up _really_ quickly if Kid's to make his appearance on time. Shoot, I've only got two minutes. Well, I was right about it being the time for me to head to the bathroom, heh._

"Okay, okay, that was a pretty lame excuse. But why do I need to explain anything? And who's this Ran girl?"

"Stop acting like an idiot and fess up, Kudou-kun!"

_Eh? Kudou-kun? This... was starting to make a whole lot less sense. _"Who's Kudou-kun? I know I'm not that smart" - Aoko stared at him - "okay, okay, I know I'm a bit of an idiot, but I do know that my name's Kuroba Kaito, NOT 'Kudou' Kaito. Wow, that name sounds lame..."

Sonoko flushed deep red. **That** was embarrassing – she had made a fool of herself and accused some random boy of cheating on Ran. Awkwardly excusing herself, she stood back in her first location as though nothing had happened, albeit her face was still pink.

Faintly aware of the boy named Kaito leaving his friend, Suzuki Sonoko watched the jewel's podium with interest, wondering when Kaitou Kid was going to show up. She jumped a mile when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Sh, Suzuki-san. I overheard you a while ago. I'm here to sweep you off your feet."

With a bang and a puff of smoke, Kid was finally standing atop the podium. In his arms he held one Suzuki Sonoko. While he had no romantic feelings towards her, he felt there was no reason why he couldn't just make her dreams come true. And that he did, for by carrying her in his arms, that meant he had 'swept her off her feet', just as she had wanted.

.o.O.o.

Mouri Ran stared disbelieving at her friend. "He actually carried you away?"

"Yup! He let me go as soon as he reached the roof of one of the surrounding buildings, but I'm sure next time he carry me off forever and ever! But... something's been bothering me and seems a bit off."

Ran cocked an eyebrow. A sarcastic voice in her mind quipped, _A lot of things about you are off, namely the fact that you're in love with an international criminal. _But that thought stayed unspoken for obvious reasons, and instead, the girl asked, "What?"

"Well, I caught a good look at Kid-sama's face, and for some reason it seemed familiar. But I guess it was just my imagination, because I was seeing a lot of familiar faces yesterday..." She trailed off, allowing her friend to come to the conclusion that she was crazy. Though, she knew what she saw, and Kid looked remarkably like a certain Kudou Shinichi.


	9. Scary

It was almost time for the Kid heist to begin. There were guards stationed everywhere and helicopters in every imaginable place above the Museum of Tokyo's History. Uniformed people were bustling about in the corridors, running from place to place in preparation of the thief's visit, yet one man was standing still. This man was Nakamori Ginzo, Police Inspector.

Why was this man not moving? Is he trying to _not_ try to catch the notorious criminal? By all means, no! In fact, this man was the most dedicated of the bunch. Every night he would dream that he had caught Kaitou Kid, and every morning he would wake up and curse like there was no tomorrow since his dream had not been reality.

All that make sense – how could it not? But the simple fact that he was _not moving_ contradicts the earlier statement, which said that he was dedicated. However, there was one variable that was left unmentioned until now;

_Ginzo casually opened his closet door and absently grabbed at the hooks on the doors that held the belts. His fingers grasped onto... nothing. Abruptly turning his head to the direction of his hand, his eyebrows raised as his eyes bulged. There were no belts! How could there be no belts?!_

_Viciously clawing through the hangers inside the closet, he searched desperately for a belt – any belt, it could be any belt at all – but found none. Giving up, Ginzo checked his watch. There was no time left. He would have to leave the house soon in order to make it to work on time._

_Settling on the decision to not wear a belt that day, the man huffed and puffed all the way to his car, occasionally tugging his pants up in order to keep them from falling down._

So here Ginzo was, with no belt to hold his pants up. In order to not need to move around – and he didn't want to move around, since doing so would make his pants fall down - he stood in the corner of the room where Kid's target was held. From his little nook in the room, he could see everything. Any suspicious activity would immediately be brought to his attention, and though he couldn't move anywhere, he would be able to bark out the orders for his officers to follow. When time came for the officers to chase Kid, well... Ginzo had more or less given up hope of catching the thief, to be honest. There wasn't much of a chance that they would catch him that day, so why bother risk becoming the laughing stock of the world?

Checking his watch, the Inspector counted down inside his head, _10... 9... 8... 7... I bet that #$**&% Kid stole my belts!.. 4... 3... 2... 1..._

"_**BOO!**_" cried a voice from behind Nakamori.

"HOLY &*%$!" the Inspector bellowed.

The room stood still and no noise was made. Everyone including Kid (who had been behind Ginzo) blinked in unison. The thief looked around awkwardly before whispering to the Inspector, "Erm... Nakamori-keibu, I do believe your pants are not supposed to be around your ankles. You might want to fix that."

**AN: Sorry for the long wait. I had a mind lapse thingy, watcha-ma-callit, ah... I can't remember right now. Let me think, um... oh, that's right! Writer's block! That's what it's called!**

**And so this concludes the amazing tale during which Kaitou Kid scares the pants off of Inspector Nakamori. Did you like it? I enjoyed writing it, so it doesn't really matter if you didn't like it! Actually, if you didn't like it can you write a review telling me everything you absolutely HATE about it? That would be really awesome to read. But if you don't want to be a nice person you don't have to write a review.**

**:D Have a nice day!**


	10. Diamond Smuggler

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME, KAITO?"

Aoko was in a very angry mood. The night before, Kaitou Kid had stolen yet another gem and made a fool out of father. That morning, the entire breakfast conversation was about the stupid thief. And to top it all off, Kaito had to make that comment.

The boy in question backed away from her, putting his hands up in defense. "I might have asked you... if you were a diamond smuggler?"

"NO, I AM NOT A *** ***** DIAMOND SMUGGLER! WHY WOULD YOU EVEN THINK THAT?"

"Well, I was just thinking -"

That was the limit for her. Chasing him down the hallway, she yelled, "WELL THEN YOU HAVE SOME PRETTY DERANGED WAY OF THINKING!"

Now, this whole chase-the-idiot routine occurred every single day. Since it was only reasonable, the classroom teacher had notified the principal of this recurring incident. Unfortunately for the couple, their route passed right in front of the principal's office.

The principal was a big man – big and fat. It just so happens that he stepped out of his office just as the teens were passing it, resulting in the two of them literally running into him. The man gave them (mostly Kaito) the Look. He then growled, "Into my office. Now."

Obeying, Aoko whispered furiously to her friend as they entered together, "This is all your fault, BaKaito!"

"Hey, I'm not the one who wasn't listening," Kaito responded.

"Why did you even ask me if I was a diamond smuggler, anyway?"

The boy grinned broadly. "Well, your eyes sparkle so much that I thought for sure you must smuggle diamonds in them!"

"Jeez, you got us in trouble for a joke? Jerk..." Aoko mumbled.

An inaudible murmur was Kaito's reply.

"I wasn't joking, Ahoko..."

**AN: Hey, everyone! I'm back! Before I make any closing remarks, though, I must say that this particular story was inspired by Left Handed Toons' "Pick-up Lines"(the comic from September 14, 2009). Just thought I'd give credit where credit is due.**

**Why I haven't been updating that often; WRITING IS HARD. I spent like, a whole hour on this and it's only this short! Isn't that stupid? Oh, and I'll just put this out there; if anyone has any ideas for me to write I'd be happy to! My brain is dying - literally DYING - since I have this really boring and time-consuming homework assignment, so coming up with ideas is hard.**

**Have a nice day, everyone!**


	11. A Witch

"Kuroba-kun, where are you going?"

The boy stopped short and turned his head and cocked his head, showing off his ear. "What'd you say, Koizumi? I didn't hear you."

"I asked you where you were going with Nakamori-san."

Aoko's eyebrows went up as she heard her name in the conversation she hadn't been listening to. Blinking, she, too, turned and asked, "Huh?"

"It's none of your business," Kaito replied with a frown, ignoring Aoko, "but if you really want to know, we're heading to the cemetery, because, you know..."

"Oh! Sorry! I didn't realize it was today!" Akako slapped her hand over her mouth as her eyes widened. Thoroughly confused on this different emotion – was it sympathy? - the raven haired teen ventured a question, "Would you... like to come with us?"

Silence.

There are many different types of silences that exist in this world. For example, there is the _awkward_ silence, which occurs when someone says something so completely ridiculous, idiotic, racist, or otherwise terrible that there is no possible response to it. Also, it wouldn't hurt to add that another form of silence is the _angry_ silence, which is the event that takes place when a person tells their friend, enemy, etc., a sentence or so that infuriates them so much that they are speechless. The _thoughtful _silence happens when someone is considering another person, item, or the such, and the _stunned_ silence is what occurs when a person is surprised to the point of dumbfound-ation. Of course, there are many other forms of silence, but in order to move along, we shall omit those and continue on with just this taste of silence.

Back to where we were; silence. This wasn't the angry type, nor the stunned, and not even the awkward silence. This was the thoughtful silence, which, as you might have judged by Akako's personality, is almost completely out of character. But let us stray from the story no longer.

Akako finally spoke, asking, "To the cemetery?"

A nod of the head came from Kaito.

"I'll pass."

And so Kaito and Aoko went on their way. A question now comes to us; why? Why didn't she go with him, since it was known for a fact that she had a crush on him. Was it that the Nakamori girl was going, too? No, not at all. Then why? The answer is easy; it was not the people that she did not want to be around; instead, it was the location.

It must be remembered that Akako is a witch. When a witch enters a cemetery, the feeling she had is undescribable. All around her, at each grave, she can see each corpse's soul, sitting on their tombstones and watching loved ones mourn their loss.

So you can see why she did not go. Koizumi Akako, however cold she acted, had a heart like everyone else. In actuality, hers is more fragile than anyone else's. Her heart breaks every time she sees the poor souls, trying in vain to comfort those who mourn them. Why?

She knows that, even with her powers, she can't help them.


	12. Cursing

The day was bright and sunny - to the point where it was almost_ too _sunny. Not knowing that, Kenan stepped out the door and glanced at the sky. At once he was blinded by the terrible, terrible sun.

"****!" he exclaimed, clapping his hands over his eyes.

Adrienne approached the boy, intending to surprise him during his moment of weakness. A wrong move on her part was all it took to be attacked and flooded with a sharp, throbbing pain.

The pain was horrible – it felt as though someone had thrown a butcher's knife through her foot. Biting her lip to keep from screaming out in agony – and thus ruining the whole surprise – Adrienne took another step forward only to receive the same unbearable feeling.

"****!" she blurted out - she just couldn't hold it in anymore. Kenan spun around, and as if to say "I didn't know you were here!", shouted out, "**** ****!"

Adrienne smiled through her pain, glad that she at least caught him off guard.

In no time at all they were at school. Arguing about the recent incident, they were pulled out of their fight by a loud statement by Kelly, "****!"

Everyone turned to stare at her – the girl who never cursed. Later everyone found out that she had left her homework at home, a feeling which everyone in her class was able to sympathize with.

The school bell rang and class began. As usual, Kenan was bored during class, and so decided to stave off his boredom, as any normal person would do. His plan was different than all the other days – his plan was to blow bubble gum.

And so he did.

It wasn't that good of a plan anyway. Rosemary, who was seated in front of him, had the luck to get her long, red hair stuck in the gum. "What the ****..." she murmured as she put her hand unknowingly into the gum as she smoothed her hair.

Now, everyone knows that Rosemary is a witch. It should go without saying that the incident ended in tears.

Samuel Hawking stood, stationed next to Inspector Mace Fuller, cautiously glancing around for the Phantom Thief 1412. There was one second left until he showed. Scratch that; make it zero-point-oh-five-six seconds.

NOW there was zero seconds left. KID entered with a bang and puff of pink smoke.

Fuller was caught off guard, as he blatantly expressed by saying, "**** **** *** ** * ***** ***** *** ** *** ******* *** *** ***** *** ** ****** ****** ** *** *** **** ***** * **!"

"****," Hawking said thoughtfully, taking in Fuller's words.

KID, on the other hand, raised his eyebrows with amazement. "**** ****! That's the best I've heard all day!"

**AN: Aren't I doing a much better job at getting these chapters up faster? LOL JK.**

**So this is kind of an experimental chapter. I was trying to see what everyone would be named if the Magic Kaito cast were to be given English names. In case you didn't figure it out, the names are as follows;**

**Kenan Clover – Kuroba Kaito**

**Adrienne Fuller – Nakamori Aoko**

**Mace Fuller – Nakamori Ginzo**

**Rosemary Blackwell – Koizumi Akako**

**Samuel Hawking – Hakuba Saguru**

**Kelly Meyers – Momoi Keiko**

**The list goes on. Some of these names I don't really like, so if you have any suggestions, feel free to tell me, either by review or private message.**

**FINALLY we get to the part about the actual story. I came up with an idea to have the only dialogue in a story to be curse words. Sadly, I don't like writing curse words. Thus the stars. Also, it's much better this way; now I don't need to boost up the rating. Simply replace the stars with other words, like "dang" or "meow" or "woof". Something like that. I can't do much about Nakamori – I mean Fuller, but it's really hard to write a character like him without an excessive amount of foul language.**

**Have a nice day everyone!**


	13. Speech

"Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield of that war. We have come to dedicated a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate – we cannot consecrate - we cannot hallow – this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated to the great task remaining before us – that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion – that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain – that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom-, and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth."

Kaito concluded his speech and stared intently at the teacher, who sighed. "Kuroba-kun, when I asked you what you learned during your vacation to America, I did not mean to have you recite the Gettysburg Address."

"I know," he snickered. "Hey, Hakuba, do they have you guys memorize it over in England? You know, since England turned against the United States of America, which was its mother country."

"Kuroba, at this point I can't tell if you're serious or not. First of all, Britain is the USA's mother country. Second of all, the Gettysburg Address had nothing to do with the Civil War."

"Don't you mean 'the American Revolution', as the _Americans_ call it? The way you're saying it makes you sound like an idiot since the Gettysburg Address did, in fact, have a lot to do with their Civil War."

"You know I'm British. To me it was a Civil War," Hakuba shot back, sitting down to signal that it was the end of the discussion.

Kaito held up his hands as he, too, sat down. "Hey, I'm not trying to mock your intelligence or anything like that. I'm just simply correcting your mistake. It's not my fault if you can't take helpful criticism."

The blonde frowned, aggravated. Of course, _now_ he knew that he was wrong earlier. But not about the Civil War/Revolution thing. Kaito was no idiot – he knew his stuff. Hakuba knew for a fact that that entire argument had been planned out, detail by itty-bitty detail, by the magician. That guy knew what your response was going to be before he even created the stimulus.

That was what made him so frustrating.

**AN: I had to. I HAD to. I'm AbeLincolnLover, remember?**

**About the whole Civil War/Revolution thing, I only realized that a little while ago (I'm slow...) and decided that this would be a perfect opportunity to throw that in, since Hakuba's British and everything. For those of you who don't know what I'm saying with the Revolution and Civil War, to the Americans it was a Revolution, but to the British it was a Civil War, because technically the colonies were part of Britain so technically Britain rebelled against itself. If I'm wrong about this I don't care because it sure does make a great chapter!**

**To be on the safe side, I don't own the Gettysburg Address - Abraham Lincoln does.**


	14. Dreaming

"Kaito, tell me the truth. Are you Kaitou Kid?"

"Uh-huh."

"OMG that's so cool! Will you go out with me?" Aoko blushed as she asked the question.

"Why wouldn't I go out with you! You're so hot!"

"LOL thanks Kaito!"

The newly-dating couple leaned in to kiss each other. Their lips were about to touch -

* * *

><p>The alarm clock rang loudly, stirring the messy-haired boy from his sleep. Staring angrily at the annoying electronic contraption for waking him up during that wonderful dream, he got out of bed and began to get ready for school.<p>

Once he was ready for the day, he left the house, making sure to lock the door behind him. Strolling down the sidewalk, he saw Aoko up ahead and ran up to meet her. "G'morning, Ahoko!"

"Good morning to you, too, BaKaito," Aoko shot back.

Kaito snickered. "What's got you so grumpy today? Mad that Kaitou Kid got away last night?"

"Of course I'm mad about that!"

"And...?"

"And _what_?"

"Why are you angry?"

The girl stared at her friend, wondering if he was honestly _that_ stupid or if he was just pulling her leg. She hoped that it was the latter of the choices. Unless he wasn't being stupid and he noticed that there was something else bothering her...

"Kaito, tell me the truth. Are you Kaitou Kid?"

"Uh-huh.

"OMG that's so cool! Will you go out with me?" Aoko blusehd as she asked the question.

"Why wouldn't I go out with you! You're so hot!"

"LOL thanks Kaito!"

The newly-dating couple leaned in to kiss each other. Their lips were about to touch -

* * *

><p>Kaito woke with a start. Where had those dreams come from? He was definitely NOT in love with Nakamori Aoko. He was only her best friend in the world. Who he happened to look at in class a lot. Who he happened to have dreams about.<p>

Okay, fine, he was just a _tad_ bit in love with her. Not anything big.

Getting out of bed, Kaito rushed through his morning routine in the hopes that he could avoid meeting Aoko at their meeting spot that day. Unfortunately, he had woken up late, thus meaning he left the house late. This meant that he had no choice but to face Aoko after his dream.

"Yo, Ahoko!"

The girl rolled her eyes at the name and began taking long strides in the direction of the school. "Hurry up, BaKaito! We're going to be late to school!"

"Ah - okay!"

The pair walked a bit in silence before Aoko spoke up. "Hey, Kaito, I had the weirdest dream last night."

"Hmm?"

"Well," she blushed as she recounted it, "I think I asked you if you were Kaitou Kid, and you said..."

"Uh-huh."

"Yeah, that's what you said. After you said that, I -"

"I wasn't reminding you about what I said in your dream."

"- said 'LOL' - wait, what do you mean?"

"I'm the Kaitou Kid."

Aoko laughed. "This is a dream, isn't it? I'm going to wake up in about five seconds and find out this is all a dream. Oh! If this isn't reality, I can ask you this – 'Will you go out with me?' - and then when I wake up, it won't matter if you said 'yes' or 'no', since this is only a dream! So, will you go out with me?"

"Umm, Ahoko... this isn't a dream."

"What are you talking about? Here, I'll kiss you and prove it. Because I'm right, we won't even be able to kiss -"

Aoko's train of thoughts stopped as she felt her lips touch Kaito's. Her eyes grew big as she realize that he was right – this wasn't a dream. She was actually kissing him, and she just told him how she felt!

But then she remembered that Kaito had told her that he was Kaitou Kid. That obviously wasn't true, so that meant they were in a dream. But then again, Kaito was kissing her.

It was getting too confusing. Banishing her thoughts, Aoko decided to just to focus on the present where her crush was currently kissing her. That meant he liked her, right?

Right.

If he liked her, then everything was going to be okay. It didn't matter if he was Kaitou Kid or not – if he _was_, though, he had better have a good reason – but what did matter was that they were a couple now.

That was good enough for Aoko.

**AN: What you don't know is that it turns out Kaito was just having another dream, and when he wakes up he's a little eight year old boy who's going to go to his father's magic show later that day. Just kidding – that would break everyone's minds.**

**How did this come out as fluff? It started out just being a dream inside a dream, but then somehow Aoko confessed to Kaito and ARGHH. I can't even write random stories the way I want them.**


	15. Insane

**The Long Awaited Sequel to "Spitting"!**

Hakuba nervously sat on the chair, his hands clenched around the armrests. The psychologist murmured inaudibly and scribbled something on his clipboard. Finally, he brought his head up to face the tense detective. "Good morning, Hakuba-san."

"Good morning, Dr. Hamasaki."

"So, Hakuba-san, has anything changed since our last appointment?"

"No... ah, wait, no, that's not right! Yes, something has changed. Definitely."

"Pray tell," Dr. Hamasaki leaned in, curious.

"Well," the obviously distressed detective began, "I was at another one of Kaitou Kid's heists the other day."

"As usual; go on."

"All of a sudden, I feel something lightly hitting me, one after another."

"Mm-hm," the doctor wrote a word down.

"So I turned around and saw Kid right behind me, spitting wads of paper at me. I reach out and rip off his monocle, and..." Hakuba stared at the psychologist. "Doctor, I think I'm Kaitou Kid."

Dr. Hamasaki began writing a gigantic paragraph of his observations, including the words "insane" and "confused identity" in about every sentence. After he flipped over to the third page, the Brit muttered, "I'm crazy, aren't I."

It wasn't a question, but the doctor answered anyway. "Yes."

"You didn't have to agree so quickly!"

Staring him in the eyes, the psychologist ignored the angry exclamation and told the boy, "Listen, Hakuba-san. I have deduced that your mental health is not well. I have also deduced that it stems from these Kaitou Kid heists you are so fond of attending. I must ask you, now, to stop going to them and -"

"Are you out of your bloody mind?! I can't stop chasing Kid! I have to bring him to justice, even if it is myself that I bring to justice!"

"_Listen_, Hakuba-san. This is for your own well-being. Don't go to those heists anymore, and everything will be -_"_

"You're asking me to do something that I can't do! Anything else, I could do – but not this! Kaitou Kid is a criminal who must be put behind bars! If I give up everyone else will give up! I am Kid's silver bullet; I will bring him down! It will be because of me that he is finally apprehended! If you try to stop me, you are preventing justice from taking place; you are no better than the bloody thief himself. When he is arrested you both shall have the same sentence and the same cell! That is what shall happen if you say I cannot chase him! I cannot do as you wish; if I could I wouldn't be a detective! Anything else that you wish, I shall do, but not this! I shall cut off my arms and legs, but not this! I cannot do what you want! Do not ask me to, I will not pay you any attention!"

The poor doctor blinked. Knowing that there was no way to convince the outraged detective, he sighed and replied, "Fine, fine. Find yourself another psychiatrist – I quit."

Getting up from his seat, Hamasaki strolled out of the room, slamming the door. Hakuba, who had risen from his seat during his speech, dropped back into his chair, put his face in his hands, and murmured,

"I'm insane."

**AN: If it makes it any better, Hamasaki was just Kaito in disguise.**


	16. Kazue

"Once upon a time there was a handsome, young magician who was called Kuroba Kaito. He was very good at performing magic tricks, and more often than not he showed his tricks to his best friend.

Now, Kaito was a genius and could pull off any stunt he wanted – and when I say any, I mean _any_. He was great. He was so good that he decided to put his skills to better use; he became a world-renowned magician called 'Kaitou Kid' – but I'll get to that later.

In this story, there's also a man called Wakahisa Yuuto. He got involved in a big, dangerous organization that I like to dub 'the Black Organization'. This group killed many people – such as Kaito's father, Toichi – and the people who survived the assassination attempts were forced into secret lives. Wakahisa-san's role in this organization was to find a gem that somehow cried immortality at a specific time – I forget when – and to find it before Kaitou Kid did. To make his job easier, Wakahisa-san – or Snake, as he was called – got Kid out of his way.

Let's talk a bit about Kaitou Kid. There were, in fact, three Kids; a father, a friend, and a son. The father was Toichi; the son was Kaito; the friend was Konosuke Jii, a man who was close to the family. Toichi was killed when Kaito was eight; I remember his funeral clearly. But we won't dwell on that – the details of that specific event aren't important in this story.

This man, Snake, was the one who killed the Kaitou Kid. Eight years after the murder, Kaito found out. He took up his father's role and didn't tell anyone. I still think that was his biggest mistake – not telling the police, or at least my dad, about the whole strange scenario.

I'm rambling, aren't I? See, I get so worked up about the tiniest details. You asked me to tell you why you're father is in prison – not why I think Kaito messed up!

So, on it went; Kid stealing gems at night, and then bright and cheery the next day. He didn't stop when Konosuke-san was found dead in his billiard's parlor. He didn't stop when Hakuba Saguru and his wife Akako were murdered a week after their wedding. He didn't stop when his mom was killed. He didn't stop when my dad died. He finally stopped when he was the one to die.

I don't think that was even the worst part for me. How could it? Kaito was dead, and he hadn't told any of it to me. I was his best friend – we were supposed to share secrets!

Ah! I got too excited – I gave it away. I wanted to save it as a surprise, but yes – I was Kaito's friend. Me, Nakamori Aoko.

But, you see – it still worked out in the end! You're surprised, aren't you. No, Kaito was not your father. We wouldn't be having this long conversation if he was. It would've been short and simple. This one's long because it has to be. I want you to know what a terrible man your father was.

Hmm, I can see by the look on your face that you've finally realized it. Yes, that monster Wakahisa is your father. Before you jump to any conclusions, though, I'll tell you this; I didn't consent to anything. He forced me down and did that bad deed. Unfortunately for me, I got pregnant.

Don't make that face! I'm not sad anymore that I got pregnant. You were the one good thing that came from that incident. You are the one good thing I have left in my life.

You ask, why didn't you abort me? The answer is simple; I didn't want to be as bad as that man. Oh, sure, people suggested it to me, alright – but I still said 'no'. Saying 'no' was one of the best decisions I've ever made.

Why did he rape me? One reason – only one. I was friends with Kaito. I was close to him. He did what he did because I was _friends_ with a really smart, cheery boy who didn't deserve what was coming to him. And what's more – I didn't know a thing about Kaito's night job at the time. I had no idea why that man was doing that to me.

So you see now, Kazue, that is the reason why he is in jail. What he did was terrible – and I wasn't the only one who suffered. The list is endless; Kuroba Kaito, Kuroba Toichi, Kuroba Chikage, Konsuke Jii. Let's not forget that it was just this one man in this giant organization of murderers. One man was capable of so much destruction. _One man_. It was over something stupid, too – immortality. I told you that already, though. Still, it was only one man. Remember that. Remember that for the rest of your life – it only takes one man to utterly screw up the lives of hundreds of people. Remember that, Kazue."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: This is an idea I've had in my head for a while. I may or may not make it into a legitimate fanfiction. You know, with multiple chapters and stuff. <strong>

**Kazue means "One Blessing"**

**Wakahisa means "Forever Young"**

**Yuuto means "Distant One"**


	17. Green

"Class, listen up. Today we have a new student."

The loud banter ceased in the room as everyone looked to the front. The girl had black, long hair and big, bulky glasses. She seemed like the type of person that has a terrible fashion sense.

Yet, her most unusual feature was her skin. Nobody in the room had seen anyone with skin like that. Normal skin is not green – that's common knowledge. Even Kaito had never dyed anyone's skin that color before, but as there's a first time for everything, all his classmtes stared pointedly at him.

"Hey, I know what you're all thinking," the black-haired boy defended, raising his hands as if to shield himself, "but this time I didn't do anything."

Then it dawned on everyone that the new girl's skin tone really was green. They started making jokes, pointing rudely at her as they laughed. A sigh came from a particular person in the room.

"It was me."

Once again the ruckus stopped, but this time the class didn't stare at Kaito. Thee person continued, "I dyed her skin green as a joke. I thought it'd be funny. I'm sorry," Akako added sincerely, addressing the new girl.

Their eyes locked on each other for a split second. The green girl's eyebrows went up as she realized that someone was actually helping her out and lying so that nobody would make fun of her.

"Ahem," the teacher coughed awkwardly. "Anyway, this is Thropp Elphaba. Please treat her kindly and welcome her at Ekoda High School."

Kaito ignored the glance the teacher gave him. She continued, "Thropp-san, would you like to sit next to Koizumi-san? I understand you both got off on the wrong terms, but..."

"It's okay, sensei. From what I've heard just now, I don't think she acts like that all the time. Right, Koizumi-kun?" She sent a friendly smile in the witch's direction.

She ignored it.

But that was okay! The red haired girl couldn't ignore her forever!

...Right?

* * *

><p>"Koizumi-san, I heard you were a new student here, too. Where did you transfer from?" Elphaba asked with desperation. Why was that girl not even <em>talking<em> to her? Did she think that since she was green, she was weird? A thought floated through her mind, _This is like Shiz University all over again..._

Oh! what was that? Finally the unresponsive teen was giving her the time of day, her eyes clouding over as she remembered a somewhat distant memory. "If I do recall correctly," she began hesitantly, "I attended a school in very far away country, near the place I was born."

"Where were you born?"

Akako regarded her with a strange look in her eyes, "There were a lot of donut holes there, I believe."

Was this some type of joke? Or perhaps it was a code! But then, what could it mean? Donut holes? Maybe that was supposed to be some derogatory pun about America? Yet, if she meant it like that, she would've just used "donuts"...

_My head hurts_, Elphaba sighed, almost ready to give up. She closed her notebook and stared at its yellow cover blankly. There were just some questions and answers in life that weren't worth pursuing, she decided.

But then it came to her.

It flooded through her thoughts as a poison does in a man; slowly, trickling in at first, but then the hole it seeped through grew larger and it came gushing in. The memory flashed before her eyes. _Gold hair, with a gentle curl..._

Yet, how could that be? That Akako girl had red hair, not blonde! She could've slapped herself for her utter stupidity. Why did she automatically assume the girl was her old friend, when there was overwhelming evidence showing that it was impossible?

That statement the girl made earlier still confused her. What did donut holes have to do with anything? Did she mean that there were a lot of Dunkin' Donut shops where she lived? The realization came to her in an instant.

Akako was from America!

No, that couldn't be right. She would've said "donuts" instead of specifying "donut holes". Still, perhaps there was a relation with Dunkin' Donuts...

Ah! That was it! Donut holes at Dunkin' Donuts were called "munchkins"! That meant Akako was from Oz, then. Though, there was a chance she could be wrong. Elphaba decided to test her theory, though she was sure this wasn't the best way to go about it. It was a spurr-of-the-moment-type thing, so she didn't really think about it as she asked, "Ah, excuse me, what's your name again?"

The piercing red eyes stared at her, boring through her own hazel ones. "You used it a minute ago."

"Heh," coughed the green girl awkwardly, "I kind of have a bad memory. I forgot."

The red-haired girl was quiet for a moment before responding.

"Does the name 'Glinda' ring a bell?"

**AN: It was really really obvious. I know that. Whaddaya think?**

**Sorry for the delay at getting this chapter up! I've been really busy (read; not busy at all). I was playing Wicked songs on the piano, and started to think, "So, what would happen if Akako really was Glinda? That'd be pretty chill, I guess." Of course, my thoughts are a lot more jumbled than that, but you get the gist of it, right?**

**EDIT: For those of you who didn't understand, this is a Wicked and Detective Conan crossover. For those of you who STILL don't understand (which is perfectly okay), Wicked is a book based off of the Wizard of Oz, which details the life and times of the Wicked Witch of the West. In this book, there is a girl with green skin named Elphaba who goes to school at Shiz University and becomes room-mates with Galinda (later called Glinda).**

**Elphaba = Wicked Witch of the West**

**Glinda = Good Witch of the North**

**HAVE A NICE DAY!**


	18. Orchid

**Writing Prompt (I've become that desperate):**

"**A character becomes optimistic during the story."**

**It was either that or having a hamster appear at the end. I'm not too fond of animals (mmm I love my bacon), and I also had no idea what I would do to incorporate a hamster. So here you go – Optimism. Ha ha I have no idea if this story is about a character becoming optimistic or not, but who cares!**

Ran sat on an old park bench, wistfully staring into the distance. She remembered, all those years ago, when Shinichi had told her he'd "catch up to her later". Pshaw, that never happened, did it?

She didn't even want to think about what happened to him (was he dead? Did he run off with some other girl?). His calls stopped three years ago (coinciding with her marriage to a handsome doctor) and didn't even occur again when her husband died. He didn't give her any sympathy. He gave her nothing. Nothing.

The death had been the year before. It had been ruled as a suicide, but she knew something was off. People with perfectly fine lives do _not_ just take their own lives. They had been a financially stable, healthy, young couple. That meant it was a murder, right?.

No.

The police had ruled it as a suicide despite her arguments. The evidence against homicide was as follows;

The victim was found holding a pistol in his dominant hand.

In the victim's forehead there was a hole and a burn mark.

All the suspects had perfect alibis.

No fingerprints were found on the gun besides the victim's.

No blood was found anywhere besides the area immediately around the victim.

The list went on. Yet, despite this overwhelming proof, Ran still had faith that her husband had not done that to himself. Every day, after the incident, she prayed that Shinichi would come and prove the police's ruling wrong.

But he never came.

She had waited for so many years. She had waited until she was twenty five to start dating. She had waited until she was thirty to get married.

She was sick and tired of waiting. If that jerk detective wasn't going to come home, she was going to move on – find a better, more fulfilling life. She would take her daughter and move to America, far away from Japan.

Yes, that was what she was going to do. The next day, actually. Early in the morning, she would wake two-year-old Miyu and take her to the airport for their eight o'clock flight. Nobody was going to stop her – not her dad, not Sonoko, not Conan, and definitely not Shinichi. Pshaw, like he was going to even try, that jerk!

The sun was starting to set, Ran noted with a sigh. She had come out to Tropical Land to see it one more time before she left. There was some throb of emotion inside of her, knowing that she would never see this place again – this sacred place where Shinichi had first abandoned her – the place where it all started.

Her gaze settled on an old orchid plant. It was ugly right now. Ran recalled seeing it when that detective freak had brought her there for winning the karate championships. Oh, how beautiful it had been back then! What had happened, to make such a pretty flower turn so disgraceful?

A man about the same age as her sat down on the far side of the bench. His dark hair was ruffled, and a moustache graced his upper lip. His violet eyes disappeared as his eyelids slid over them. He was shaking like crazy, and Ran knew instantly that all he was displaying pointed to some type of harsh breakup.

"Umm, sir?" She questioned gently. "Are you okay?"

His eyes flew open and the shaking slight stopped as he tried to pretend he was calm. "Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

He was now fully facing her, and unconsciously the girl noted that he looked remarkably like a man she saw before. Obviously, it couldn't be the same man, since she had met that guy when she was eight. People just don't keep the same look for twenty five years.

A bit of silence passed between them. "What was she like?"

The man bit his lip. "She's the most amazing woman in the world. She looks a lot like you, actually," he added.

His afterthought spurred her memory. Not only did this guy look like that other guy, but he looked a lot like what Shinichi must look like now. "You look a lot like a friend of mine, too."

"Who? Kudo Shinichi?"

She blinked before responding. "How'd you know?"

"I've noticed the resemblance before," he chuckled to himself, most likely about something Ran didn't know. "You're Mouri Ran, right?"

"Yeah..." she replied, shocked at what he knew.

"Here's some advice to you, Mouri-san. Kudo is a great guy – trust me, I've met him before – and I know he likes you. You two are both too old for this game. I speak from experience. My friend Aoko hates me for waiting so long. Try not to hate Kudo when he tells you about that little problem of his."

"What little problem?"

"It's not my place to tell," the man said mysteriously. He was looking a lot better now than before.

The Shinichi look-alike stood and stretched. "Well, Mouri-san, I'd better be on my way. I have a magic show scheduled for tonight, and I really wouldn't like to be late. You can come if you want – admission is free."

"Where is it?"

"Hmm, I believe I told the police it would be by the water fountain. It's a nice place there," he grinned.

"Police?"

"Buh-bye, Mouri-san. It was nice chatting with you. Hopefully we can talk again!"

In a flash he was gone, leaving a wide-eyed Ran behind. _That was... Kaitou Kid?_

She leaned back with a sigh. That strange conversation had changed her mind about moving. It wouldn't hurt to wait a few more years for Shinichi, would it? If, by chance, he _did_ come back, she would welcome him with open arms.

A strange sight startled her out of her thoughts. An seemingly-impossible thing had happened:

The orchid flower had opened its petals, revealing its breathtaking colors.


	19. Quotes

**Before you read this, every quote Hakuba says is from Shakespeare, all but one of the quotes Kaito says is from Abraham Lincoln (yes, feel free to imagine him wearing a stovepipe hat - I've written enough Lincoln-based chapters that you can do that), and the one quote Aoko says is Shakespeare. I did my research for this chapter - I feel so proud! This is more than I do for school projects (I'm not joking).**

Kaito woke from his school-time nap and looked around tiredly. An angry Aoko was what greeted him. "You slept through all of Math class! Don't expect me to give you my notes again, Kaito!"

A snicker was heard from behind the exhausted magician. "After all, as quoted from William Shakespeare, '_Expectation is the root of all heartache_'."

"What?"

An annoyed expression graced the teenage girl's face. "BaKaito! He's telling you that you can't expect me to give you the notes all the time! You're not going to get anywhere in life if you just sleep through class!"

"Oh, okay~! I get it! How about this, a quote from Abraham Lincoln, '_Some day I shall become President._'"

"What," Hakuba inquired, "is it that you are attempting to convey to me by saying that?"

"I don't know! This is hard!"

"Wow, to hear the infamous Kaitou Kid say something is hard... that is truly priceless." The detective turned to Aoko, saying, "Don't you agree?"

"Kaito isn't Kid, Hakuba," she replied apolegetically.

"Another saying from Lincoln-san; '_How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg._'"

"'_The lady doth protest too much, methinks_.'"

"Hey! I'm not a lady!" the black haired boy pouted. "Though, they are pretty scary. '_A woman is the only thing I am afraid of that I know will not hurt me_.'"

A sudden glance came from Akako as he finished with his words. Both boys paled. Hakuba gulped, "'_Maids want nothing but husbands, and when they have them, they want everything._'"

"Exactly the reason why I don't have a girlfriend," Kaito agreed, earning himself a glare from Aoko, which clearly said, 'That's not the only reason.' Leaning back in his chair, he commented, "'_Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory._'"

"'_Mind your speech a little lest you mar your fortunes,_'" Aoko gritted through her teeth, seething at Kaito. Why couldn't he just be a normal guy? If he was one, than they probably would've been a couple by then. It was just things like this that he said that prevented their relationship from happening.

"Ah! Aoko, you can't take that stupid detective's side! Shakespeare is gross! '_Join me, and I will complete your training. With our combined strength, we can end this destructive conflict and bring order to the galaxy,_'" the boy said, perfectly mimicking Darth Vader.

"_' 'Tis not enough to help the feeble up, but to support them after.'_"

"Hey, Aoko's not feeble! _'Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.'"_

"_'I will praise any man that will praise me.'"_

"_'Avoid popularity if you would have peace.'"_

"'_Desire of having is the sin of covetousness._'"

"'_When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. That is my religion._'"

"'_Let no such man be trusted_.'"

"My sincerest apologies, boys," Akako said, intruding on their conversation. All three of them were shaken out of their little Shakespeare-and-Lincoln-World-of-Quotes. Staring at the witch with annoyance, Kaito and Hakuba shouted, "WHAT?"

"Class has started already, smart ones," she responded, pleased to see the shocked expressions on the boys' faces as they noticed everyone – including the teacher – pausing the lesson to stare at them. Using that great 'tact' of his, Kaito put his hand behind his head and ruffled his hair, chuckling awkwardly, _"'I don't like that man. I must get to know him better.'"_

And thus the argument continued. The teacher put her hand to her forehead, mumbling,

"Why me..."


	20. Love

**Hello, everyone! It's me! Feel free to review!**

**Believe it or not, I actually do read every review. I like reading them – it makes me feel all warm and tingly inside. No kidding. It's a great feeling when you get all these nice reviews saying how 'absolutely wonderful' your writing is and how 'you'd better get the next chapter up soon or else'. Nobody actually wrote those two examples in a review, but you get the point. NO I AM NOT BEGGING FOR REVIEWS. I am just casually asking for them.**

**Anyway - sorry, ahead of time.**

There was a lot of wet stuff. It felt pretty sticky, too. He couldn't bend his neck down to see it – why was he on the ground? - and for some reason he couldn't get up. His whole body felt numb – strange, there was no pain; didn't he get shot? - but he knew he was shaking like crazy. It _was_ pretty chilly, especially since he wasn't wearing his jacket. Why wasn't he wearing his jacket?

Opening his eyes, he weakly moved his arm and dipped his gloved fingers in the strange liquid. He brought them close to his eye. Even with his vision blurry and concentrating difficult, he distinctly saw the deep red color.

At first, he didn't totally comprehend what it was. Why was the water red? It was _water_, right? He was soaking wet right now since it was raining. Of course. That had to be it. So why was the water red? It almost looked like blood, but that couldn't possibly be it. He had dodged the bullet, right?

_Right?_

Apparently not.

He let his hand fall, not caring where. The realization was shocking. He had been _shot_? How? He had dodged plenty of bullets in the past, especially on his hang-glider – and it was _not_ easy at all to move in a split second when you're flying that death trap of a hang-glider. That was something he was sure of at that moment.

Welcoming death, he let his body become limp. All around him, the world was continuing on; the rain drizzled down in a steady _splish, splash_, the helicopters flew in circles attempting to find the fallen Kaitou Kid, and police cars, ambulances, and fire-trucks were speeding down the highway in his general direction. Although there most certainly were more than a thousand people looking for him at that moment, he knew with a sinking heart that they wouldn't find him in time. He would be long dead before anyone got there.

_Splish, splash_ went the rain. It called to him, _splish, splash._

He closed his eyes, heartbeat growing softer and slower. _Splish, splash._

The door to the rooftop opened, and the person stood stock-still, staring at the lump of white cloth on the ground. It was obvious who it was – the top hat, and cape were vibrantly displayed in the mess of rain. Getting their nerves steadied, the person cautiously approached him, hoping that the worst had not happened yet. _Please, let him just be sleeping..._

Kneeling down beside him, she nudged his side. Once.

Twice.

Three times.

He didn't wake up. Collapsing onto his bloodied stomach, she felt something wet on her cheeks. It definitely was not tears. No, not tears. Never in a million years. She was _not_ going to cry about this stupid thief who made a fool of her dad. Nope, not a chance. The liquid on her face was just... the rain. Or his blood.

_Probably the rain_, she decided, choosing the option that didn't make her stomach flip over with sadness nor disgust. Composing herself, for she knew that it wouldn't bode well for her to be found crying – err, being drenched by the rain – she straightened her back and hugged her legs to her chest. The only thing she could do now was wait for someone to find her – hopefully soon; it _was_ pretty chilly – since she didn't have a radio. She cursed her father for refusing her one.

_I can't believe that idiot Kid is actually dead. Kaito will be so sad tomorrow... he always looked up to him, even though he was a criminal. He'll probably be as depressed as he was when his dad died – funny, even I feel melancholy. It's almost as if Kaito died instead of Kid._

She was shaken out of her reverie by a shaky voice. "Ao...ko..."

"Who's there?" she called out to the empty roof. Then, turning to the body beside her, she questioned, "You?"

"I'm... sorry... I'm such an... idiot..."

"Hey, shut up! You're loosing blood faster when you talk!"

"I've been... lying... this whole... time..."

"Did you hear? You better not die on me!"

The man's eyebrows went up slightly, the best he could do for a surprised expression. Aoko could tell that just doing that action sent him into a load of pain. "I'm really... Kuroba... Kai... to..."

What? Was his memory getting warped from the injuries. No, that couldn't be it – she could clearly see under his monocle now, and she would never mistake the face of him. But... why? Why did he lie to her? Why didn't he just tell her? Why did he even star this whole stunt in the first place?

In the end, she decided it didn't matter. "I don't care, BaKaito."

"One more... thing..."

"What?" she asked softly, tears welling up in her eyes as she realized he was truly about to die.

With a last, shallow breath, the man gasped out, "AND IIIIIIIIIIII I WILLL ALWAYS LOOOVEEEEE YOUUUU"


	21. Oreos

**Based off a true story...**

"Woah! What type of cookie is _that_?" Aoko exclaimed in wonder and awe, eyes fixed on the delicacy in Kaito's hand. With a grin, he rolled the cookie around in his palm and replied proudly, "_This_ is a chocolate Oreo. The stuffing inside is triple chocolate. Special edition and real legit stuff, you know."

"Uh-huh..." Hakuba observed from behind.

"AH! When did _you_ get here?! Seriously, someone needs to tie a bell around your neck or something..."

"Coming from the master thief himself," retorted the detective. Sensing a fight, Keiko, who was also there, moved back to the original subject. "So, what's it taste like?"

"Uh, um, I'm not really sure, heh. I haven't tried it yet. Let's see..." he murmured as he bit into the dessert. He immediately spit it back out. "Ew! This thing is horrible! It's not even edible! The stuffing's not even soft! Whose stupid idea was it to make this?"

Akako put her lunch tray down next to him and, overhearing what he just said, stated with a smirk, "Wow. So the king of chocolate can't even stand eating a single chocolate Oreo."

"I was joking, Akako. This thing is delicious! Wait a minute," he paused staring at the empty bag that the Oreo had come from, "there were _two_ Oreos in here. I ate one. Which one of you jerks took it?"

"I don't even like chocolate, so don't look at me," Keiko defended.

"Yeah, you know I've never liked chocolate, even when we were kids," Aoko reminded Kaito

"I have better things to eat than your lunch," Akako sniffed.

"Well_, someone_ had to have taken it. Oreos don't just disappear. Okay, whoever did it, cough it up right now or else," Kaito finished murderously. His classmates gulped as they pictured the pranks he would pull on them. Each one looked suspiciously at one another, telling each other without words to just fess up already. Akako was the first to regain the nerve to talk. "Are you sure it didn't just fall on the ground?"

"How would it fall on the ground? Jeez, think a little, you annoying witch..."

"KAITO! That's not a nice thing to call Akako-chan!" chided Aoko. Kaito rolled his eyes, saying, "I'm just calling her what she is. Anyway, back to the subject – _who took my Oreo?_"

He had a scary glint in his eyes as he spat out those venom-filled words. He was down-right furious that someone had the guts to steal his precious Oreo – thievery was supposed to be _his_ job – and he was even angrier that he hadn't caught the person as they took it. Not to mention, each one of them were equally suspicious. Keiko had this scared look on her face, which could be written down to guilt. Hakuba was smirking – but that wasn't all that odd, yet he still was a suspect because he was _Hakuba_. Aoko didn't seem strange at all, but since she was always trying to get back at him for flipping her skirt, she was still on the list. About Akako... Akako was Akako, enough said.

Taking a few deep breaths to try and calm himself, Kaito closed his eyes. Suddenly they flew open and he began ranting, "Okay, I want to know who took my Oreo, and I want to know _now! _Don't you care how I feel? I was really looking forward to that Oreo! I've gotten a lot taken away from me in my life, you know that? Does this have to get put on the list? You know, the list with my _dad_? Yeah, I just went there. My _dad_ was killed eight years ago when I was eight years old! Eight *** years old! And you have the nerve to take away this Oreo, from someone who lost his father? You should be ashamed! I know for a *** fact that none of you have dead fathers! Do you know how I know that? You talk about them all the time! Well, I want to talk about my father all the time, the same as I want to eat my cookie right now!"

He stopped to take a breath before continuing, "And do you all know what? I can make any cookie I want appear in an instant! 'But Kaito!' you say! 'Just eat one of those cookies!' you say! I don't want any of those stupid cookies! I want the one that one of you *** jerks stole and I want it right this instant! I don't care if you already ate it – throw it up! I don't care if you put it in your pocket – take it out! I don't care if you threw it out – dig it out of the garbage can! Just give me my *** cookie and everything will be fine! Well? Where is it? Have I not stressed the importance of this cookie enough? Well, I guess I must continue! This cookie is extremely important – not only to me, but for you all, too. See, if I don't get my Oreo, then life is going to be really *** for you all! I don't mean just now, but forever! Even when you die, I'll haunt you! On your deathbed, you'll confess, alright! But it'll be too late by then! The cookie will be moldy and dusty and will have fallen to crumbs! I'd eat it if I could, but it would be impossible! Do you see what I'm saying, people? I want my cookie, no matter what shape it's in! Just fess up already!"

In the end, nobody gave a real confession. It will be noted, however, that later that day, Kaito found a half-eaten chocolate Oreo taped to his locker, with a note reading "Thanks for the cookie" next to it in familiar handwriting. Contorting his face, he yelled, scaring the other occupants of the hallway,

"HAKUBA!"


	22. Quick Sand

**AN: I'll admit, I came up with this idea while reading Les Miserables. Enjoy the product of my imagination!**

He ran through the sewers, wiping the slime off his face as it dribbled down from the surface above. The cold, murky water sloshed under his feet with each step he took. His shoes were soaked and his socks were drenched, but he didn't care a single bit about that.

He had really messed up this time.

Oh, it wasn't Aoko that he had slipped up with. She wasn't the problem – far from it, actually. It was that little brat, Tantei-kun. That guy was too smart for his own good. _That_ was blatantly obvious after the incident which had occurred not too long before. But really, who in his right mind would even _bother_ to stop in the middle of a chase, whip out his phone, and take a freaking picture?

He was, as young children sometimes say, in "big doo-doo".

It wasn't his fault – honest! The monocle had only slipped for a fraction of a second! How quick was Kudo that he was able to not only take a picture, but also come to the realization that "hey, I should take a picture of this since this is some really good evidence"? Heck, even he – the mighty, fantastic Kaitou Kid – wouldn't have been able to think that quickly if he were in Kudo's shoes (which, at the current moment, were a bit too small).

Knowing that his whole life was over with that one picture, he had ditched the museum and ran as fast as humanly possible and more. The cops had been smart that day and decided to chase after him by way of vehicle – no doubt that idea had been implanted into their minds by a certain annoying detective. He had run faster than their speeding cars (which really should've been impossible), and when he had felt the adrenaline rush fading, he had searched the area for a possible hiding spot or escape route. When his eyes landed on the manhole cover, he had cringed, yet he had taken the opportunity that had been handed to him without complaint.

When he had finished his descent into the city's waste, he had noticed that there were two ways he could go – left or right. The second thing he realized was that it was pitch black. The third was that it smelled absolutely, positively _terrible_. The pungent stench wafted through the air all around him, and what made it even worse was that it had a stale quality about it despite the rushing water that travelled through the tunnel on a daily basis.

There was a very limited time for him to make his decision about which way to go. Suddenly, he realized that he could feel the water splashing into the outer side of his left foot. That meant that the water was coming from his left. Even by itself, that was very valuable information.

See, sewers are set up like this; a drain in the street lets water flow into a tunnel, which in turn carries the water into some type of body of water, be it a river, ocean, lake, or the such. Armed with this knowledge, the man began his quest for escape by heading to the right.

Why the right? If the water came from his left, that meant the drains were on his left. Sewer drains are exactly what you think they are; drains. A drain has a grid-like pattern to allow water to enter while making sure people don't accidentally fall in. Also, they serve to make sure that people do not _exit_ through them.

So; to his left were the drains. That meant that to his right resided his goal. It was this knowledge that flew through his mind as he picked his direction at the base of the rusty ladder he had entered through. Of course, this whole decision had been made in less than five seconds, allowing him a plethora of time to have a head start in his race against his pursuers – the police.

He ran for quite some time, using the previously discussed way of thinking to make other decisions as he came to numerous intersections in the tunnel. His feet were becoming numb from the constant submersion in water (he was really hoping it was water) when he became aware of a strange sensation. As crazy as it sounds, he felt like he was running on a giant sponge.

With every step he took, his shoes would sink lower and lower into the water. It felt like his feet were increasing in weight every time he attempted to lift either one from the ground. At some undefined point, he was unable to lift his entire foot out of the murk, and so he continued walking, shoving his feet through the mud like one would do in deep snow.

In one step, his toes were lodged in the waste.

The slime was up to his ankles by his fifth step.

The tenth step brought it up to his mid calf.

Twenty steps in and it was up to his waist.

It was then that he realized that something was wrong. But only then.

See, he was kind of preoccupied with escaping from the couple of police that had chosen the same turns as he at the intersections. He had been concentrating all his mind power into making sure that, at all costs, he did not splash the water. Doing so, of course, would alert the officers to his presence and he would be arrested quicker than he could say "Kaitou Kid".

So, when he looked down for the first time in ten minutes, he was surprised to see the water level up to his chest, and the mud level up to his waist. He resisted the urge to use a few choice words he had picked up from Nakamori-keibu as he examined his situation.

Immediately he had understood that the more he walked or wriggled around, the quicker he would sink into the sewage. With that in mind, he paused completely and attempted to recall if he had anything up his sleeves that would be helpful to him in this strange problem of his. Obviously, he had none, and his heart sank as he finally acknowledged that he was going to die in the town's waste (a terrific end for a criminal, Aoko might add).

Even though he wasn't moving anymore, he kept sinking. In hopes to stay at one elevation, he emptied his pockets of everything, and eventually resorted to removing his hat, cape, and jacket, just so that he would weigh less. It was to no avail.

He sank slowly. The water reached his neck and tickled his chin as it rushed by, and the mud hugged his chest into a cold embrace.

Sinking down more, the mud reached his collar and the water his nose, forcing him to tilt his head upwards to keep breathing.

Finally, the waste covered him completely.

* * *

><p>Kaitou Kid was never seen again, and, suspiciously, neither was Kuroba Kaito. Both had vanished one March twenty-first, gone forever from the world. Yet, the magician will not be easily forgotten, especially not by his pursuers that fateful night, for they say that, upon arriving at a pool of quicksand-like filth, they had seen a white top-hat and monocle floating hauntingly in the midst of it all, and with wide eyes, they had witnessed a ripped card float to the water's surface.<p>

This card was the ace of spades.


	23. Contact Lenses

It all started when Akako's vision became a bit blurry.

Noticing something was wrong, she went to the eye-doctor's and had an eye-test done. She failed with flying colors, and was prescribed some dorky glasses to wear. Being the vain and self-centered girl she is, she would have none of that.

Thus lead to her idea of getting contact lenses.

Looking back, she really had been too careless. What a shame that she took everything for granted! Perhaps if she hadn't, then she wouldn't have lost them. Maybe then she would've had a chance with Kuroba-kun.

But _no_, she just had to be attractive and make herself look better with contacts. She couldn't sacrifice a teeny, tiny bit of her beauty in order to wear her glasses. She was so stupid! It wasn't even like the glasses would make her look any less pretty – Keiko-kun looked just fine with them, after all...

She had brought this terrible fate upon herself through her infernal vanity. Kuroba-kun was going to have a field day when he found out. That is, supposing that she told him.

Why _should_ she tell him? It wasn't like it would make one bit of a difference in their relationship, after all. The only thing it would do is make him stop seeing her as some type of obstacle that he had to overcome, and eventually he would just start ignoring her in class. Yes, that was exactly what would happen – it wouldn't bring them closer together, it would just push them farther apart.

It wasn't fair. How could Nakamori-san capture his heart without even trying? Akako was everything that girl was not; she was pretty, intelligent, powerful, and more. How dare that boy spare her not even a glance! A disgusted feeling came to her stomach even as she thought about it. Well, so be it! She was out of the couple's way now, all because of her stupid, stupid, stupid vanity...

Everything always came back to her vanity, didn't it? She was just that type of person – centered on what's on the outside rather than what's inside. Now that she thought about it, she wasn't that nice of a person – the only good things she had were her looks. It was time to face the truth – she was a spoiled-rotten teenager.

Perhaps it was for the good of something greater that she had lost them.

That thought ingrained in her mind, she cried.

* * *

><p>"<em>So, Koizumi-san, you would like to try using contact lenses? Here is a pair that you can use. So – first step. Right. Wash your hands and make sure all the dirt and grime and icky stuff gets off your fingertips. Oh! You're done? Dry them off, quickly. Okay. Now. Second step – sit here, and take the left contact out of the container with the 'L' on it. Done? With your left hand – or your right, but it's easier to do with your left hand – bring the contact up to your eye. Try not to blink. Hmm. You keep blinking. What do you suppose we can do about that? Ah, I see what you're doing. Yes, that's correct – with your right hand's thumb and index finger, hold the eyelids in place so that you can't blink. Is the contact in yet? No? Well, keep trying. I have some more patients to attend to, but I'll be back in twenty minutes."<em>

_It was becoming increasingly frustrating. How could one tiny little piece of whatever-it-is be so difficult to put in her eye? Oh. Well, that was a stupid question. But, really – how could something so small be the cause of so much aggravation? It really didn't make any sense at all._

_Finally – finally! - after countless tries, the blasted thing was in her eye. She blinked a bit as she attempted to get it to center itself. When that did absolutely nothing, she brought her finger about to rub her closed eyelid. That was when she felt something that changed her life forever. She brought her finger away from her eye and looked at it, blinking some more as the contact slid into place._

_There, in all its glory, rested a single tear upon her fingertip._

Legend has it that if a witch,

No matter how beautiful or intelligent she is,

Sheds even the smallest of tears

Or feels the slightest of love for someone,

She will no longer be able to practice magic

And will be a mere human from then on.

**AN: Well, I'm sorry! I always kind of wondered what would happen if Akako had to get contacts ever since I got mine, and well... this came from it! The sad thing is – this was supposed to be a humorous chapter. I am really bad with this whole "write what you feel" thing. This isn't what I was feeling – I was feeling really happy today. Not depressed and melancholy and all that jazz.**

**Anyway, I hope you all have a nice day!**


	24. Funeral

**AN: Alright, now this story is downright depressing. WE NEED MORE HAPPY STORIES!**

It was a bright, cloudless day. The sun from above streamed through the trees' leaves as a warm breeze swept gracefully through the peaceful wood. Upon a stone bench that was set next to a nearby trail was a girl, no older than nineteen.

Her face was downwards, and her hair fell in front of her in a fashion which says to the passerby that she does not want to be bothered. Thus said, the few people who took to that particular trail did not disturb her, going as far as becoming silent as they walked by. Nobody wished to anger her, as all signs she showed were signs of something you all have probably seen at least once in your life – a woman in mourning.

Who she was crying for, they did not know nor care. It was not a conscious thought which told them to tread carefully around her – it was instinct. Very few of them, in fact, were even aware of their change in manner, and an even smaller number realized why exactly it was that they had changed.

We are not these strangers, nor are we to act like them. We know this girl – her name, her personality, and her self, perhaps not, but we have all met, at least once in our life, a person like her – and we shall delve deeper into this incident than maybe even this character herself did.

Who is this girl, then? If we are to understand this situation completely, of course we need to know her name. True? False. A name is not necessary for anything. You can remember a person as special and by nothing else. For the reader's sake, however, this information shall be disclosed. Her name was Nakamori Aoko.

Why was this 'Aoko' girl crying? Certainly she had not encountered that wretched point in her life yet, commonly known as a 'mid-life crisis'? No, she had not – far from it, in actuality. It was not her own life she wept for.

It was Kuroba Kaito's.

He had always been a nice, cheery boy, and she had always pictured him with a smile. This last part was now impossible, though. She had known, from that moment earlier that day, that that memory of him was gone forever, and replaced by something far less appealing to herself.

The grin, in all its majesty, remained intact, albeit a bit more forced than usual. His skin was pallid and cold to the touch, and revealed none of the warmness that all that had met him knew that he had. His eyes were the same as ever, yet there was that quality that made it seem different than before – the violet orbs seemed to be glassed over, almost blank-looking.

His eyes had been open. She wished they hadn't been. If they were closed, she could have pretended he was sleeping. Yes, the pain – the loss – would still be there, but that image – that last memory of him would not have been so terrible to remember. There would've been less tears, something she knew he, even up there (where he must have gone), would have wanted. He was just that type of person.

He had been that type of person.

Putting her face in her hands, she closed her eyes and took in a shuddered breath, recalling her friend's last magic trick. No, not any of the Kid heists. No, none of the pranks he had pulled in school. And no, most definitely not the one he died performing. She remembered that one, final trick he had conjured in his eternal slumber – for it must have been him, for there was no way for it to have happened naturally, because, after all...

The sun _never _shines when it rains.

Oh, I'm sure everyone has seen at least one sunshine-filled drizzle. But this definitely was not one of those times. This time, there was very strange phenomenon that happened – a miracle. One moment, the droplets of rain had been pouring down in drops the size of golf-balls, and the next, people were basking in the warmth that the bright, yellow orb from the sky was giving.

Kaito had been a magician. It was fitting that he would perform such a beautiful, heart-wrenching act on the day of his own funeral, Aoko decided as she finally stood from the stone bench.

As she breathed in one last deep breath to stop her tears, she heard a person say her name. It repeated over and over – loud sometimes, soft others – coming from all different locations. "Aoko... _Aoko_... Aoko... Aoko...**Aoko**... _Aoko_..."

"What!?" she exclaimed, looking around desperately.

_"Ahoko_, what are you doing? _I'm _**right behind** you, just _turn around_._"_

She turned around.


	25. The Student Government

She blinked. Daylight streamed in through the windows in her bedroom, highlighting her covers on her bed. A yawn escaped her mouth as thought about her schedule for the day. _Great, _her mind drawled, the voice inside her head coated in sarcasm_. School time. Yay._

Getting out of bed, Kimiko slipped her slippers on and left on her expedition to the kitchen to fix herself breakfast. Pouring herself a bowl of Lucky Charms©, she allowed her thoughts to wander back to her schedule as she enjoyed the wondrous Cocoa Puffs©. _Ugh... eleventh grade students are so annoying. Why can't they ever just sit down and be quiet?_

She pouted for a moment when she saw that her Cheerios© were gone before standing up and leaving for her bedroom to get dressed. When that task had been completed, she stood in her doorway, posing for an invisible nonexistent camera. An ocean colored scarf was wrapped around her neck and a long sleeve shirt stood out in magnificent glory. Her pants were just regular jeans, but it pulled the outfit together. Only a small bulge on her side stood out as odd.

As she walked down the hallway to the front door, her boots clicked against the hard wood floor. She exited the house and hopped into her car, stepped on the pedal, and went speeding out the driveway. The wind speed was about fifteen knots. Then suddenly, out of the blue, her eyes saw a flash of metal in the rear view mirror. She tried to pull her car over to the shoulder of the road, yet as she braked she heard a loud _SCREECH!_ A bullet whizzed by her head, but before she was able to see who shot it, the person was gone.

Cautiously Kimiko parked her car, ignoring the parking space lines. Exiting her prized vehicle that had remained unscratched and heading towards the school, she looked around in case the shooter had followed her. Seeing that nobody in the area had any type of gun in their hands, she hurried into the building and went straight to her classroom. The bell rang, and so she began to teach, despite the fact that it was only the warning bell that had rung and so not many kids were in her class yet.

Lunchtime came, and so Kimiko Emi-sensei began the long, terrible trek to the teacher's lounge, stomach rumbling like a train. _CHOO CHOO. _Blinded by hunger, she failed to notice that the room was dark – too dark for comfort - when she entered, nor did she notice that it was – seemingly – empty.

Opening up the refrigerator, Kimiko's heart stopped as a 42 year old man jumped out with a gun in his hand. She recognized him, too – he was Nakamori Ginzo, president of the Student Government. Regaining her senses, she asked, "Nakamori-keibu, what do you think you're doing in the refrigerator? And why do you have that gun? You could really hurt someone with that thing, so hand it over. I hate to say it, but I have to confiscate it."

Ginzo said nothing and stared at the teacher as if he thought she was the dumbest woman who had ever walked the Earth. He then shouted out, "Koizumi! Get out here!"

A girl crawled out from under a table. She was immaculately dressed in the school uniform, and her blindingly red hair was neatly combed. Kimiko gasped as she realized that it was Koizumi Akako, the prettiest girl in the school. One by one, other people started crawling out from under the tables, such as Hakuba Saguru and Momoi Keiko.

Kimiko narrowed her eyes and smiled, knowing exactly what she was could do. She had them beat. Slowly, she removed the object from her belt which had caused a bulge in her side. Ripping off page after page from the pad of paper, she handed each person a slip and, after all the pages were distributed, addressed them all, "See you all in detention. Now go back to class."

**AN: My best work lol**

**Kaito's too good for this type of stuff, if you were wondering why he wasn't there. He's probably goofing off in science or something, and Aoko's there trying to keep him under control.**

**Oh, and YES, the whole Lucky Charms-Cocoa Puffs-Cheerios thing was on purpose. I'm not stupid enough to forget what donut a character is eating halfway through a sentence.**

**I have so many things I could say about this one chapter, such as it was originally written absolutely _horrifyingly horrible_. I write a lot of stuff that can be filed under "horrible", but this... this had been so horrifyingly horrible that my insides had wretched just reading it. Take the first sentence, for example. Instead of it being written "She blinked", I wrote, "The person of the female gender - commonly known as _woman_ - closed her eyes and opened them in one very fast motion (AN: this is called a blink in case anyone didn't know that)". See? Horrifyingly horrible. Like spiders.**

**It's been much too long since an update. My apologies.**


	26. Temple Run

This, Kaito decided, was probably the worst idea that he had ever had. Ever.

Sure, escaping from the cops was easy, and Hakuba was annoying but he could still deal with him. Tantei-kun was at the heists sometimes, but they always tied with each other, so it wasn't even all that bad. _This_, however, was something on a whole new level.

Where did those three monsters come from anyway? They surely hadn't been in the temple when he had snatched the idol. He would've dealt with them then and there if that had been so. Perhaps they had just appeared out of thin air or something – the temple definitely had that creepy vibe about it that could convince anyone that "this makes sense and now we are going to eat you."

Urgh! He wasn't thinking straight! He had to stop thinking. Just concentrate on running. Scratch that – make it running and jumping. Err, running and jumping and turning. Okay, fine; running and jumping and turning and ducking and picking up some random coins that he didn't even need.

He had to keep running – and umm, jumping, turning, ducking, and collecting coins – as fast as he could. There was no way he was going to let those stupid monsters eat him for dinner. No way, nuh-uh. Not going to happen.

But he couldn't help but think that Hakuba, Nakamori-keibu, and Kudo had it easy. Hattori-tantei didn't even qualify onto the list, since his life was not complicated at all. It made Kaito jealous just thinking of the guy.

So. There he was. Running. And collecting coins. And turning. And ducking. And jumping – ah, wait, he missed that jump and stumbled over his own feet! Glancing over his shoulder as he stumbled forward, he saw the monsters – which he had nicknamed Jimmy, Rachel, and Richard – come even closer to him. Holy flying fleece sweaters. He had to keep running.

And he did. Despite feeling their spit as they viciously growled from so close behind him, he kept running. He was ahead of them. That meant he was winning. And he had to keep winning this game – for that was the only word he could think of to describe it – or else he would most definitely die a slow, painful death. That did not seem like something he wouldn't now, or, come to think of it, any day of his life.

Why did it have to be him! There were so many other people who were more fit for this position! There was, umm... no, that guy wouldn't make it far... how about... not him either... well, maybe Akako. Actually, no. She probably had total control over the temple and was making the monsters chase after him. Perhaps that was what the evil glint in her eyes had meant whenever she looked at him after mumbling out loud, "If I kill him everyone else will be my slave hohohohoHOhohohoho!"

Creepy witch.

Anyway.

What if he just jumped off the path? He spared a glance to the side. Nope, not happening. There was _something_ in that water, and it was most likely worse than a fish. He gulped as he wondered what it could be.

He ran on and on and on. He had decided early on that it wasn't worth trying to make any sense out of the situation. The path wasn't the same at all as when he had wandered in – granted, he had used his hang-glider to come in, so he didn't really know if the path was really this long. Wait a minute... he had his hang-glider around.

His eyes traveled all around him. There were a couple of the trees in the area, and they were freaking huge. No kidding. They were about the height of a three story building. Too bad; they weren't high enough for the hang-glider. What now?

Wait a minute... the temple had been pretty huge...

Nonononononono. He was not turning around now. Not in a million bajillion years.

But what if he was able to get past the monster things? He had won in a fight against alligators or whatever using only rubber bands. He had his whole coat with him. He could win easily. The only things was that they were running _so fast_ that he couldn't turn around quick enough to dodge the monsters. Or, what if he...?

He reached into his coat pocket and took out his card gun. Really, he had waited way too long to do this. Loading the device, he fired, starting with Jimmy and ending with Richard. They slowed just a tad bit as they brushed their wounds off.

That was all the time he needed. Spinning around, he leapt over the injured animals and began running towards the temple. Glancing behind, he saw that they were following him again, but further behind him than before. Good. That left some room for mistakes, like tripping over a fallen tree trunk or something.

It took a while, but finally he saw the temple again. It was growing bigger as he neared it, and he took note of a person standing in front of the entrance. Someone with red hair and red eyes and _he knew it all along and he was going to strangle her in about five seconds..._

She motioned for the monsters to stop, which allowed Kaito to stop, too. He kept an eye on the animals, though, just in case they decided they wanted to eat him and began running at him. The girl raised her eyebrows with surprise, saying, "Oh, you don't trust them?"

"Of course not. They were just chasing me for a whole half hour."

She checked her watch. "Actually, it was just ten minutes."

"Were you really keeping track of that?"

"Well, I have nothing better to do. Now, hand over the idol."

"But Kaitou Kid needs this!"

"It's not Pandora, trust me. I already checked."

"Why didn't you tell me _before_ I scheduled this heist!?"

"To see your reaction."

"..."

"It was worth it."

He stared at her, long and hard. "I hate you so much, Akako."

**AN: And apparently I wrote a Magic Kaito crossover with Temple Run. Of course. Since that is so normal.**

**Of course Akako would have control of the temple. Of course.**


	27. Bangs

A large mass of people were gathered around a table, early one Monday morning. One in particular was the blonde British detective that we all know and love – Hakuba Saguru, deduction ace. Err, deduction king. The title of deduction ace had already been awarded to Kudo Shinichi, who was also at the table. That honor was not to be confused with _illusion_ ace, which coincidently had been given to another person at the table, Kuroba Kaito. Of course – _naturally_, even – they were all gathered around the same table at the same time.

As unrealistic as this sounds, they were, indeed, at this place. They weren't even the only ones there, either – I'm not sure if that adds or detracts from the absurdity of this. Yes, the famed Mouri Kogoro – _and his daughter!_ - was there. Yes, Hattori Heiji (who unfortunately was not in possession of any title at this time – see author's note at the bottom for more details) was there. Yes, Nakamori Ginzo was there (for some reason, he wanted to keep an eye on Kaito. Perhaps it was because he just found out about the whole Kaitou Kid thing). Yes, Haibara Ai was there. No, the Detective Boys were not there. This was a place for grown-ups. No, Haibara does not qualify as a child.

Currently, Mr. Hakuba was speaking. "As I was saying before Kuroba interrupted – stop that! - me, half of us must attack the Organization from this side of the building – Kuroba, I do _not_ want my hair dyed blue right now! - and we'll have the other half of us gang up on this side. Is that clear?"

Everybody nodded boredly – Hakuba was a very boring person – with the exception of two people. One was, of course, Kaito, but the other wasn't as easily guessed. It was the deduction ace himself, Kudo Shinichi. Hakuba furrowed his brows and looked at him, ignoring Kaito. "What don't you get?"

Shinichi's brows went up. "Me? Oh, ah – it's nothing. Go on."

"Okay, but tell me if you need clarification on anything. I cannot stress how _extremely vital -_"

"- it is for us to know the plan. Blah, blah, blah. Seriously, Hakuba? We've gone over this a million times. We already know there's 'one more day until the storm', so just shut it and let us just relax a bit," Kaito whined.

The rest of the people looked at him. Shinichi ventured a question. "Did you... just make a Les Misérables reference?"

"Yeah, I think I just did," the magician shot back. "What of it?"

Heiji was starting to feel a bit left out, so he joined in the fight. "Kudo doesn't like Les Misérables since it reminds him too much of how he's like Eponine!"

"What?" Shinichi defended. "I actually thought it was a good book and -"

"Shut it, Kudo! You're not part of this!"

"People, people! Calm yourselves!" Hakuba yelled, attempting to quiet the ruckus.

"ROOOOAAAAARRR I THOUGHT PHANTOM OF THE OPERA WAS MUCH BETTER!" Kaito... um, roared.

"*** NO LES MISÊRABLES WAS SO MUCH BETTER!"

"ARE YOU STUPID EVERYONE KNOWS THAT JEAN VALJEAN WAS A LOSER!"

"*GASP* ARE YOU IMPLYING THAT VALJEAN WAS A LOSER?"

"UH YEAH I THINK I MADE THAT PRETTY CLEAR!"

"PEOPLE, PEOPLE, CALM DOWN!" Hakuba screeched into his handy-dandy megaphone. Instantly everyone went back to their seats (well some chairs had been broken during the fight so some people had to sit on the ground) and sat in a listening position. "Thank you. Now, is everybody clear on what we have to do tomorrow?"

Again, Kaito and Shinichi shook their heads. Hakuba ignored them both this time, believing they were both trying to grate on his nerves. It was very obvious that Shinchi didn't like him, and it was even obvious-er that Kaito loathed him.

"Okay, I do believe that that concludes our meeting for today. Right, Kudo?" he spared a glance at the detective-in-question. He shook his head once again, making Hakuba finally snap. "WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY IF YOU DON'T GET SOMETHING JUST ASK ALREADY JUST DON'T KEEP SHAKING YOUR HEAD OKAY? YOU KNOW THE ONLY THING I HATE MORE THAN KUROBA AND CRIMINALS IS PEOPLE NOT TELLING ME WHEN THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND SO DO YOU HEAR ME JUST SPEAK UP ALREADY OKAY?"

Silence.

"Woah, Hakuba, no need to go off on a rant like that," Shinichi responded.

"Yeah," Kaito added. "After all, we understand what you were saying perfectly. It's just that..."

In unison, they spoke, "Our hair keeps falling in our eyes."

**AN: Hattori Heiji had originally been the Deduction King, but Hakuba got jealous and ordered Watson to steal it. Remember, as much as this contradicts Hakuba's anti-crime personality, this is years after the Magic Kaito storyline. Hanging out with Kaito all these years has changed him. Really.**

**Sorry about this poor pun. Nobody laughed at that, did they? Well, just look at Shinichi and Kaito (or pretty much any anime character). They have bangs. In their eyes. Don't you think that could get pretty annoying? Thus, they shook their heads to get the hair out of their face. ROOOOOOAAAAAAAAAR I AM THE MASTER OF BAD PUNS**

**Oh, and I have no idea where that argument about Les Misérables and Phantom of the Opera came from. My mind is a scary place sometimes, much like the room described in this story. Times two.**

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while – life's been busy and blah blah blah I had writer's block. Sorry guys. School has been kind, though. I like not getting homework. It gives me more time to procrastinate on writing stories for FanFiction.**


	28. Sniped

**AN: I've had this on my computer for awhile, but I just posted it now because, um... I don't know. I reread it and saw a bunch wrong with it but figured I'd post it as is.**

_ I grabbed his hand as he uttered those words, those hate filled words. He spoke them with such venom and pulled away from me quickly. I didn't know what was going on at that time. And I barely do now. But I can't stop thinking that it is my fault. Maybe if I knew what he was talking about – maybe if I knew, he wouldn't be in the company of all the ones past. But I can't stop thinking about how he's with his dad again, and my mom, too. I know he's said "hi" to them for me – he was always a great friend, and that's what friends do. Though, he wouldn't have to say "hi" to them if he wasn't... if I didn't..._

_ I know that I have to leave my room soon, but a few more days won't hurt. I can't just up and leave my thoughts, and right now I have to busy myself with consolidating them. Perhaps it wasn't my fault... but then whose would it be? It can't be his, because he's gone. It's hard thinking like that, when I've known him since we were children, and I know I'm never going to get used to it. I know that I'm never going to get used to the fact that he thought I was one of those people, either. Did he really think I would be one of those criminals out to get him?_

_ When he said "I hate you", I knew he wasn't joking. The reason I laughed was because he was being an idiot. That's the fake reason, I guess. He always told me that there's always a fake and real reason behind everything. So I suppose the real reason in this case would be that I was being an idiot. How did I not connect the dots? He even laid all the information out!_

_ He told me that there was a group of people out to get him. One of them was named "Snake", and was known by the police as "Jackal". I only smirked because I thought he was joking, but he misinterpreted that as me being one of them. How? How did he get that out of a single smirk? He said "I hate you" and ran away before I could say anything in defense. And I know I'll never forget his eyes, his staring, piercing eyes when he said that. And then I laughed. I laughed at my stupidity, and that's the real reason I laughed._

_ I wish I could say that I didn't see anything, that there was no way that I could have helped him, but that would be a big, fat lie. He ran away, and out of the corner of my eye... out of the corner of my eye, I saw it. Well, not really, but I saw the metal shimmer. The dots didn't connect in my brain fast enough, I guess. The next thing I heard was a great, ugly BANG in the air. The next thing I saw was a giant puddle of red, sticky substance forming just meters away from me. The next thing I smelt was the gunpowder. I hate that smell now. I hate that sniper now. I hate that bullet now._

_ His funeral is in four days. My dad won't be able to attend because he has to go to another one of Kaitou Kid's heists. Sometimes I wish that it had been that stupid thief instead of him who died. Why do the innocent always have to die? I wish... I wish that Kaitou Kid would just go to jail and rot there for the rest of his miserable life, because dad really wanted to attend the funeral, but because of the stupid thief, that won't be possible. It always boils down to Kaitou Kid, and I think his death had something to do with the stupid criminal. _

_ I want that thief to just die one day._

-Taken from the diary of Nakamori Aoko


	29. Waiting

**AN: Yeah... it's been awhile. Nothing Kid related here – all Detective Conan (for once in my life)! I didn't reread this over so there might be a bunch of issues with the following: grammar, punctuation, spelling, plot, characters, humor, accents, acting, and the function of telephones. Thank you very much for pulling a Ran and waiting absolutely forever for this chapter to come out. Y'all peoples rock my socks and deserve your own stack of complementary college-ruled loose leaf paper (because that's the only thing I have available to offer you). So anyway, stop reading this dumb note and let's get on with the show already! EDIT: It's cracking me up how this note is longer than any other paragraph in this story... :D**

"_When are you coming home, you mystery baka?"_

Her words were like ice. They chilled him to the core and stabbed at his heart. They almost hurt more than what he knew he had to say next.

"_Soon, Ran. Just wait for me, will ya?"_

He let the cockiness and arrogance of his old self float back into his words. She was more comfortable with that Shinichi. Not with this one. Not with the one he had somehow morphed into. He held his breath as he waited for her response, guilt filling him and killing all of his soul. Each phone call was really making him feel worse each time.

"_You – you keep saying that, Shinichi. When are you really coming back? Why can't you tell me? We've been friends for years. Don't I deserve the truth at some point? I'm sick and tired of waiting for you. It's been a whole year. I – I don't think I can wait any longer."_

"_Hang in there. Please. It's just for a short while more. Give me a couple more months, and then I'll come back. Can you do that?"_

He really doubted that a couple months would give him enough time to catch those creeps in black, but he needed to persuade Ran somehow. He knew that she had told him to tell her the truth, but he was sure that she wouldn't take it well. She wouldn't be able to handle it. She'd stop waiting.

Boy, was he selfish.

"_How many more months, Shinichi? Why not now? Where are you? What are you doing that you can't come _now_?"_

"_I can't tell you that -"_

"_Why not? Why can't you tell me anything? If it's secret, you know I won't tell. I don't want you to have to deal with everything yourself."_

For a moment he considered telling her. But only for a moment.

"_It's something really dangerous, that's all I'm going to say. But don't worry about me! I'm perfectly safe!"_

He had never told a bigger lie in his life. And never one with so much it was covering.

"_But – fine. I'll give you a month. Then I'm done."_

A month? He spent a whole year just gathering information on the organization – how was he supposed to find their hide out, bust them, and restore himself to his original body in just one month? He needed to reason with her, without letting her know that there was more than he was letting on.

"_I don't think I can get this done in a month. Maybe six...? Please?"_

"_You'll get your six if you tell me everything. Right now. No lying."_

Sorry, Ran, but that wasn't an option.

But suddenly, reality crashed right in front of him. He realized the weight of this conversation. Neither of them would leave from it the same person as before. He could either tell her the truth right now – thus revealing that he was, in fact, Edogawa Conan and probably ending up pissing off/embarrassing Ran – or taking the offered one month and trying to make do with only that. Which, obviously, wouldn't work, so his future with Ran would go down the drain.

Make a decision, Kudo.

"_I, erm, you don't want to know the truth. How about that."_

Was that really the best he could do? Jeez, Ran was really getting to him. Where was that over-confident high-school teenage-detective he was last year? Where was that abnormally calm voice he always used with criminals? Where was Shinichi?

"_How about you tell me and I'll decide if it's good that I know or not."_

She was cornering him. He didn't like feeling like a mouse. He suddenly pictured her with fangs and hungry cat eyes. He shook that image out of his head because it wasn't helping. At all. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and spoke:

"_I can't do that to you, Ran. I'm sorry. You can... you should stop waiting now. I honestly don't think that I'm ever going to be able to come back. Things got way too out of control for me. I – I'm never coming back. I'm sorry."_

That was perhaps a lie. There was always the chance that Haibara would suddenly come up with an antidote. But the probability of that was low, and he didn't want to get Ran's hopes up. He may have just destroyed any chance of him and her ever being together, but it was better this way. Now she would be out of danger. He hoped.

"_MYSTERY BAKA! WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH ABOUT THESE CASES? CAN'T YOU SEE... can't you see that I'm – I'm really..."_

She exploded all over him. He straightened his face, determined to just get through the rest of the call. And never call her again. It would break both of them – kill both of them, actually – but he hoped Ran would eventually get over it. Maybe marry some nice rich doctor or something. He knew he would never be happy without her, but he felt like he didn't deserve her at this point. And it was his fault, so he should be the one to suffer.

"_You're what? Listen... I've gotta go. I guess I won't be calling again... so bye."_

There. His last words to Ran, as himself. Kudo Shinichi could finally be laid to rest.

"_No, don't go... please. Not yet. I'll – I can keep waiting. I think I can. Just – just call a bit more often, you mystery baka. Okay?"_

Did... did she just say that? Was she really fine with him not telling her? Or was she just trying to be the bigger person? Or... or was there something else in there that he was missing?

"_Thanks... really. I'll try to hurry up with this case. I'm trying my best, really. It's just that... things are really complicated. There's another girl I'm working with who's just like me. The people we're after killed her family. I'm helping her look for something right now. When we find it I'll come back, okay?"_

True enough.

"_Fine. But don't go and run off with that girl."_

"_Ha ha, I won't. Bye, Ran."_

"_Bye, Shinichi. See you soon."_

He went up on his tippy toes to put the phone back on its hook. Sighing, he opened the door and walked out, making the trek all the way back to the Mouri Detective Agency. His hands were in his pockets and his head was done in deep thought as he went up the stairs and entered the actual agency. He called out, "Tadaima! I'm back!"

"Hi, Conan-kun! What do you want for dinner tonight?" Ran was looking and sounding a lot happier than before. But... there was still something in her tone. He brushed it off and threw himself onto the couch. "I don't care~! Whatever you want, Ran-neechan~!"

She smiled and retreated back into the kitchen. He was about to click on the television when his heart suddenly stopped at her next words.

"I hope you find what you're looking for soon, Conan-kun..."


	30. Magic Show

"Wow!"

"Cool!"

"What a hottie!"

The teenage girls sitting in front of Kaito sighed dreamily. Crossing his arms irately, he stared down at the stage that was currently the center of attention. Of course, he wasn't upset about not being the focus of the night. No. If he had wanted that, he would have ensured it, by either scheduling a Kid heist or some other crazay thang. No. What was grinding on his nerves currently was the fact that the _no-good, foot-licking, son of a chainsaw..._

There was a magician on stage.

Currently.

(It wasn't Kuroba Toichi. Obviously.)

There was a magician on stage (who wasn't even all that good, Kaito reminded himself) that was currently _wasting everybody's time_ with pointless tricks and bad puns. He narrowed his eyes some more. He really wasn't all that impressed with this guy. What an amateur. Ah - oh - there it goes! Totally called that next trick. And those strings were _totally_ visible, and the fake fingers being used for _that_ trick really weren't all that, well, believable. Kaito propped his feet up on the chair in front of him, utterly bored.

"Bakaito, put your feet down," Aoko nudged him. He held his hands up warily in a defensive pose and slowly lowered his feet. Ugh. So. Bored.

Because so what if he was a magician? He wasn't really all that good with appreciating a good show, anyway. There was a frigging reason why _he_ was the performer, _not_ the audience. There was a reason why _he_ was Kid, not Jii. It was just so much more fun to do it yourself. The hands-on experience, the thrill of the chase, the rush of the performance..._  
><em>

Ah.

_Ah._

The no-good wimpy magician man was now asking for volunteers for his next trick. Something to do with stepping into a box and disappearing. Perfect. Kaito raised his hand up high, beaming smile lighting up the whole room. The lame-o magician smiled cheekily at him. "Oh, what an enthusiastic young man we have in the back, there! Come on down and tell all of us your name!"

All eyes turned to him. Including Aoko's.

Her expression was priceless. "Uhh, no, I don't think that's such a good idea," she sprung up, horrified at the thoughts of what Kaito might do. She attempted to get Kaito to sit back down but he refused. The magician man took her standing up as a sign that she wanted to be included in the show, too (because for some reason he couldn't hear her, or didn't care, or whatever). He motioned for her to come up as well, insisting that she at least partake in _one_ trick. And it wasn't really like she had a choice, seeing as Kaito was involved. His hand was firmly clamped around hers as he pulled her down, down the steps and onto the wooden creaking stage.

The magician man was a lot easier to see now that the spotlights and crap weren't in their eyes. He was pretty tall, and sort of lean but sort of not at the same time. He had like some realll legit gelled back hair and sparkles all over his damn suit. What the hell. Kaito recalled that the guy's name was John oops Egrasio the Magnificent. Egrasio spoke, gesticulating wildly. "Now, our two volunteers! - what are your names?"

"Kaito," he put in. He purposefully didn't say his last name, for fear of the guy recognizing it and ruining the whole plan.

The magician decided to be annoying, for whatever reason. "You don't have a last name, Kaito-kun? I'm sure the audience would love to hear it."

_No, I'm pretty sure they don't care, _seemed like a good thing to say, but he didn't. He took the sarcastic root, because to be honest this guy was pissing him the hell off and he didn't feel like having good manners or whatever. "No, I actually don't. I'm a homeless man who can barely buy a loaf of bread and in all honesty I just snuck in here without paying for a ticket."

"He's kidding," Aoko added after almost having a heart attack.

"Oh," and that was all the guy could say. He made a few jerky movements as he moved away from Kaito, who was obviously Not In The Mood. Egrasio put the microphone up to Aoko. "And your name is...?"

"Nakamori Aoko."

"Ah~, well Nakamori-san and..." brief second of hesitation as he spoke to the audience "Kaito-kun will be helping me out with some of my tricks tonight! Now, for their first trick, I will need only one. Which one of you wants to volunteer first?"

"I can do it," Aoko stepped forward, casting a worried look at Kaito. He brushed her aside and gestured grandly to himself. "You will find me to be the more suitable candidate."

Egrasio sweat-dropped. Nonetheless, he tried to regain his composure as he told Kaito the instructions. "Now, what I am going to do is have you step into the box. Your friend, Nakamori-san here, will then spin the box around three times and when we open the curtain again you will disappear!"

Kaito wiggled his eyebrows. "Oh, will I?"

Egrasio ignored him, and Kaito was put into the box. The curtain was closed, and Egrasio turned to Aoko. "Next: your part! I'm going to have you spin this box around three times while I chant the magic words. Okay?"

She nodded eagerly and started turning the box around. Egrasio spoke loudly. "Eleka nahmen nahmen, ah tum ah tum eleka nahmen. Eleka nahmen nahmen, ah tum ah tum eleka nahmen..."

And then the box was faced towards the audience. And the curtain was lifted.

Kaito was still in there.

Egrasio's eyes bulged.

Kaito was still in there.

Not only that, but he was doing a headstand as well.

Egrasio's face paled. But he couldn't let the audience know he failed, right? "Ah! So the magic didn't work! That means that you people out in the audience didn't believe hard enough! We need faith if this trick is going to work! Come on, and let's try this again."

The curtain was closed, the box was spun around again, the magic words said. The curtain was lifted.

Kaito had vanished. Thank goodness. Egrasio's heartbeat returned to normal. So it really had been just a fluke...

But then the real trouble started when they started spinning the box around in order to bring Kaito back. Somehow - SOMEHOW - Kaito had made his way far away from the box and walked onto the stage from back-stage stage-left. Egrasio gaped at him. And then covered up. Kinda. "BUT HOW - erm, My magic has succeeded! And in the box, you will find a rabbit!"

Aoko lifted the curtain, and indeed a rabbit was found there. Plus like three doves.

All eyes turned to Kaito. He shrugged them off, and returned to his seat. Aoko lagged behind.

Egrasio gave a sigh of relief when the two left the stage. For some reason, that kid - Kaito - had screwed up all his tricks. But how?

And then the show ended.

* * *

><p>And then the show ended.<p>

Aoko's face was pure rage. "What the hell Bakaito you can't just do that to the poor guy!"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Ahoko," Kaito huffed.

But it was due to Aoko's nagging that they showed up backstage to talk to Egrasio after the show. She told Kaito that he was going to go apologize. And Kaito already knew what would happen if he didn't. Vivid memories of fish being shoved in his face reached his current train of thought.

"Hi, um Egrasio the Magnificent," Aoko began awkwardly, because everybody is awkward when they talk to other people obviously.

Egrasio looked up and then back to what he was doing and then back up again. "YOU."

Kaito smiled innocently. Aoko elbowed him. Kaito groaned. "Sorry for screwing up your show."

"How did you even do that," Egrasio's voice quietened so that other people wouldn't hear and somehow discover that he messed up. Kaito shrugged. "I dunno. It was easy."

"What do you mean? Are you a magician, too?"

"Of course. I was trained by the best." Kaito grinned widely. "I was taught by Kuroba Toichi."

Egrasio pfftted. "Pftt. That guy wasn't so good. He got what was coming to him, if you ask me."

"And what exactly do you mean by that," Kaito demanded harshly, eyes narrowing.

"Oh, well you see," Egrasio said bluntly. "He couldn't have been that good if he died during such an easy stunt."

Aoko butted in. "Excuse you, but Kaito is his son."

"And Otou-san was a way better magician than you'll ever be," Kaito sniffed, and then snapped his fingers in a z-formation before gas-poofing out. Aoko said a quick bye and left.

Egrasio sat back down in his chair and attempted to figure out what just happened.

**AN: just to let you guys know i don't even know what happened at the end.**

**so**

**yeah**


	31. Back

**AN: An alternate title for this chapter would be Forgiveness, because the sound of Forgiveness is screaming and then silence.**

**Some back story for this one-shot would be that the Organization is taken down, Shiho and Shinichi get their bodies back, and that's it.**

The happiness she felt when she opened the door to find Shinichi standing there was the most she ever felt.

And then everything went away when he stood aside and introduced her to a girl she'd never seen before.

Don't get her wrong, she was excited and glad that Shinichi was back, but this new girl made her wary, made her think, and she pointedly just did not like her. She tried to tell herself that she was just being ridiculous and that she shouldn't hate someone she just met, but the implications of Shinichi and the girl - Shiho was her name, Shinichi had told her that her name was Miyano Shiho - just showing up together at the same time just infuriated her. Because - because she had been waiting for Shinichi for all these months, and if he was just going out with another girl then...

"Ran? Hey, Earth to Ran?" Shinichi waved his hand in front of her face. She immediately swatted his hand. "What?"

Shinichi huffed. "I asked if we could come in."

"Oh, um, yeah, sure. Sorry," she amended. She showed them to the couch and started making some tea. From the kitchen, she could hear faint traces of their conversation.

"Kudo-kun, are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yeah, she needs to know sooner or later."

"How do you think she'll take the news?"

"Eh, it's hard to tell with Ran sometimes. She'll probably be really angry at first and try karate-chopping my head off - heh - but then I think she'll come around. She's pretty understanding. And I think she already likes you so she'll have no problem with you."

Ran's grip on the tea kettle grew stronger. So it was true then, huh? Shinichi and that girl Miyano Shiho...

"Won't she be mad to find out that she's been waiting for you this whole time only to find out that you -"

"Yeah. I know. I'm just going to tell her gently. She's going to be upset that I let her wait so long without telling her, but it was necessary."

The tea kettle started whistling. Ran took it off the burner and poured the water into some cups before adding tea leaves. She brought it back out with a forced smile on her face. "Sorry it took so long."

"Ah, thanks Ran," Shinichi accepted his cup graciously, as did Shiho. Ran sat down opposite them, noting furiously that the two were sitting unreasonably close to each other. She smiled at Shiho (AND HOPED THAT SHE BURNED IN HELL). "So, how did you and Shinichi meet?"

"We were working on a case together," Shinichi said. Shiho looked at him, and he sighed. "Well, I guess that's kind of true. Um. We kind of - it's complicated."

"Just spit it out, Kudo-kun," Shiho glared at him. Obviously she wasn't in any mood for playing around. Ran glared at Shiho, smile still stamped on her face. So then it wasn't really much of a glare, but like one of those hidden glares that um yeah. Ran smiled pissedly at Shiho. Let's leave it at that. Yeah.

"Okay, okay," Shinichi took a deep breath. "It all started when we went to Tropical Land, Ran. I ran after those guys in black, remember? Well, what I found behind the building was -"

"Shinichi, I'm just going to be honest here," Ran's grin slipped. "I don't care. I already know about you two."

His eyebrows went up. "...How did you figure it out?"

Ran sighed. Her gaze turned to the kitchen, the plant, the window, anywhere but Shinichi. Or Shiho. "I heard you two talking earlier. And, you know, I guess I already had a suspicion about it. It wasn't really too surprising for me to realize I was right all along."

"So you're not mad?"

"No, not really, why would I be..." her eyes looked even further away from him. Why would she be mad? She was just feeling extremely, tremendously, exhaustingly sad.

"Well that went better than expected," Shiho stated. Ran resisted the urge to kick her in the face. Or break her neck. Shiho stood up and called to them while she was exiting. "I've got to get back to Hakase's then. And I expect Kudo-kun has something he would like to tell you in private, Mouri-san."

Ran almost missed the blush on Shinichi's face at that. So now it was just the two of them, eh? She leaned back and took a sip of her tea, glaring at him now that the fake facade could be dropped. "So how long have you two been dating, anyway?"

Shinichi sputtered on his own tea. "_Dating!?_"

"Yes, dating. Isn't that what this whole thing was about?"

"Um," Shinichi scratched his cheek. "Actually no."

"Then what could you possibly have been talking about -"

She abruptly closed her mouth.

She understood.

Shinichi understood that she understood.

She smiled at him politely and stood up. "I'll be back in a minute."

Shinichi watched her leave the room, heard her fling open a window, and heard her scream at the top of her lungs to the poor people passing by on the road below, "KUDO SHINICHI I WILL BURY YOU IN THE SAHARA DESERT WHERE NOBODY WILL EVER FIND YOU"

And then there was silence. :)


	32. Forgotten

Momoi Keiko slammed her phone down. The class stared at her.

"Like, what the hell?" The teacher said.

Keiko glared daggers at the woman and shrieked, "SCREW YOU," before promptly running out the door.

Naturally, the class continued on as usual. Only once the bell rang did Aoko begin to worry and actually start to look around for her. It wasn't that she was a bad friend or anything. It was just that. You know. Um. Yeah she was a bad friend SO ANYWAY

Aoko eventually found Keiko bawling her eyes out pretty loudly in the courtyard. She cursed her stupidity for not checking there earlier because she was sure that she had heard Keiko-like sobs coming from this direction when she first set out. She rushed to Keiko's side and began the interrogation I mean good friend pep talk speech thing. "Keiko what's wrong did Kaito look up your skirt because if that happened then it's okay he does it to me all the time I mean like it's not okay but you know what I'm talking about it's nothing to cry about or wait did you and your boyfriend break up or something over text because didn't you get really mad at something you read on your phone or was it something else like the picture I took of you at the last Christmas party we went to when you were drunk as hell I mean -"

"You should stop talking," Keiko gritted out through her tears. Aoko stopped talking, as requested. She motioned for Keiko to tell her the details. Keiko took a giant sigh (or gasp for breath, nobody really knows, what with all the non-stop tears and everything yeahhh) and said, "Well, I was reading some fanfiction on FanFiction dot net."

"A perfectly normal pastime, go on," Aoko nodded seriously.

"And - and, I was reading some Detective Conan stories -"

Aoko gasped. "You didn't find the yaoi, did you? Was it T at least? Or - oh God don't tell me it was M!"

Keiko blinked. "What no. I found something... worse."

"WORSE THAN THAT?" Aoko ducked behind some shrubbery that was played by Kaito who was cast as scenery. Kaito kept silent because that was his role. This is the last time he shall be mentioned. Keiko nodded.

"Worse than that," she confirmed.

Aoko's face turned pale as a chalkboard completely covered in chalk. Or like a whiteboard. Whichever analogy floats the reader's boat. "I'm not sure if I can handle that... I mean you read those lemon fics without blinking an eye, Keiko."

"Oh that was nothing," Keiko brushed it off. "But this was... an absolute TRAGEDY!"

"Just freaking tell me already, the chapter's long enough as it is."

"Okay, okay... so when I was looking through the list of fanfics..."

"Go on..." Aoko motioned for her to keep going.

"I FOUND OUT THAT I WAS IN LIKE TWO OF THEM!"

"Oh."

"TWO!"

"Well you know -"

"OF!"

"- that you're not really -"

"THEM!"

"- the most popular character -"

"AOKO FREAKING GOD WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU GIRL. I AM LIKE THE MOST ADORABLE CHARACTER IN THIS WHOLE SERIES AND THE FANS DON'T EVEN APPRECIATE ME. IT'S LIKE I'M THE SHRUBBERY WHEN KAITO IS ME! WHAT THE HELL! I'VE WORKED SO HARD AND UGH. CAN'T PEOPLE JUST APPRECIATE MY STUNNING PIGTAILS AND LUSTING GLASSES?! I MEAN FOR GOD'S SAKE SENSEI'S IN MORE FICS THAN I AM!"

But by then Aoko had already walked away, carrying in one arm the shrubbery that was Kaito, and in the other the lie the author had spoken about not mentioning Kaito again.

**AN: ok time to rebuild the fourth wall quick before my next chapter**

**kk see you guys soon**


	33. Criminal

**AN: this is why you don't commit crimes, kids:**

"AHHHHH!"

"OH GOD NOT ANOTHER ONE!"

Shinichi's ears perked up. Stopping where he was on the sidewalk, he sniffed around looking for the scent of the crime. Then, after a few seconds, he seemed to have discovered the source of the yelling and ran after it. Ran, who was then left behind in the dust, tried to run after him but somehow her shoelace _broke. _So she just ended up calling after him instead. "Hold on, Shinichi! My shoelace just broke! Also you can't cross the street right now or else you'll be jaywalking!"

But Shinichi did not bother with listening.

There was screaming.

Screaming meant crimes. And crimes in his world usually meant murders.

Exciting. There hadn't been a murder in like two hours. He had been starting to get bored. Had almost started praying to the God of Murder -

"Shinichi-niisan! That woman found a body!" Ayumi shrieked at him. He briefly wondered why she was shrieking before remembering that, ah yes, she was a little kid and all little kids shriek. He ignored her, as he had done with Ran, and walked right up to the lady.

The lady was wearing a tutu and had unshaved legs. Also she had callouses on her hands that indicated that she played the clarinet. Instantly, Shinichi realized that she must have been part of the "Casebook of High School Detective Suzuki Sonoko" production that had lately hit broadway and the local theater, which was just down the road. Yup. Made sense. But why did she have unshaved legs...?

"Hello, my name is Kudo Shinichi and -"

The woman crumpled to her knees."ALRIGHT I CONFESS."

"GOD DAMMIT I DIDN'T FINISH TALKING," Shinichi screamed.

"But you were going to arrest me anyway."

"Well yeah, but I didn't even find any clues yet."

"I'm the only suspect."

"Oh yeah."

"So...?" She tapped her foot.

"What?"

She huffed impatiently. "Aren't you going to explain in a long-winded deduction how I did it?"

"But I didn't even find any clues yet."

"So? The clues you find never even help you out."

"Oh yeah... Well anyway you slit the victim's wrists with your shaver, which you had taken apart to get to the actual blade and thus make it a vicious killing machine. I could tell that because you have some gnarly leg hair."

"Amazing! And how come I did that?"

"That's easy. The victim was your ex boyfriend, except nobody really seemed to know that. Not even the people who knew you and him back when you _were_ dating. Come to think of it, that takes some skill to be that oblivious."

Some patrol cars pulled up. The officers came up behind Shinichi, who then pointed at the woman. "Um yeah, and arrest her I guess. I'm done here I suppose?"

"Nope," Inspector Megure said. He put the handcuffs onto Shinichi's wrists and started dragging him to the cop car. Shinichi was appalled. "Wait a second! Why are you arresting _me_?"

"Jaywalking," Megure declared gravely.

Shinichi stared at him and wondered if he was actually serious. He shook that thought away. "But you can't arrest me! I just solved the case! It was the woman, she didn't shave and -"

"I don't want to hear it, Kudo-kun. Leave it to the officers to sort this one out."

"But they're gonna rule it as a suicide! You know how incompetent these guys are!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Look. We haven't had a suicide in months. Do you know why? Because every damn person in this city gets murdered! Beika and Tokyo are getting a pretty bad reputation. If this continues much longer, we'll be even worse than New York City."

"But -"

The car door was slammed in Shinichi's face.

**AN: I was gonna put in a comment about Shinichi going to prison and dropping the soap, but then I thought better of it**

**wait**


	34. Soap

**AN: this takes place the night before the previous chapter**

Ran was really excited that Shinichi was in town.

Scratch that. She wasn't _really_ excited.

SHE WAS FREAKING OUT.

Because literally, Shinichi really hadn't been around that much in a long while, ever since he ditched her on their not-date at Tropical Land. And if was offering to come by her house, then why shouldn't she be freaking out? She could safely admit in the security of her inner thoughts that she had a minor small moderate big large humongous crush on a Mister Kudo Shinichi. And she didn't know what to do about it but squeal like his fan girls did.

In private, of course. And she would never admit to him that she did that.

SHE HAD DIGNITY.

And then Shinichi was knock-knock-knocking at her front door, and the way he was rapping kind of reminded her of a nursery rhyme or something, but she was halfway to the door anyway so she'd better stop thinking about nursery rhymes, and then she was at the door and wrenching it open.

"SHINICHI~!"

"...Ran!" Shinichi managed, a bit late.

She led him in and made him sit down, and then she brought out the wonderful meal that she had cooked that definitely did not taste anything like what her mother would have made. Kogoro walked in and sat down next to both of them and suddenly he was a magician! One moment Ran's in her happy place, and the next poof she's out of it. Ran glared at her father for interrupting and ruining her second not-date with Shinichi. Because come on, you can't have an intimate dinner conversation or meal with someone if your dad is there. You just can't. And that is one of the many facts of life that you've got to get used to if you plan on having a life some day instead of reading fanfiction.

UM SO ANYWAY they all finished their meal within two hours because you know slow eaters. Ran collected everyone's plates, forks, knives, napkins, placemats, chairs, and tables and chucked them in the dishwasher. Yippee. But then... something just absolutely _horrible_ happened.

"Um, Shinichi?" Ran asked, her head stuck in a cupboard. "Have you seen the dish detergent anywhere?"

"Nope," he called back. He leaned back onto the couch and watched Ran search around some more. "What, do you want me to help look around or something?"

She gave him the face of the devil. "No, no, you can just sit back and let me do all the work."

Not picking up on her sarcasm, he shrugged and turned on the TV. Naturally, Okino Yoko's show was on.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK," Ran screamed at him, who promptly shut the TV off and rushed to her side. He was pale-faced, as people usually are when an angry Ran yells at them. "Sorry I thought you actually meant that I didn't have to help."

"BAKA SHINICHI! BAKA!" She yelled. "HOW CAN YOU BE SUCH A GREAT DETECTIVE AND NOT EVEN REALIZE THAT I WAS BEING SARCASTIC!"

"Well, excuse _me_, princess," he mumbled crossly.

They searched everywhere and anywhere and couldn't find the soap. Eventually Ran had resorted to looking around in Conan's packed up bed sheets (bed sheets that were packed up because Conan was gone, moved to America for good) just to see if the soap had somehow fallen in with it. She was looking in the pillowcase when Shinichi called out to her. "Ran, I found it! I found it - wait crap I dropped the soap..."

Ran ran back into the kitchen to find Shinichi bent over and picking up said soap. Since it was dish detergent, and not in a tightly sealed box, powder had gone everywhere. She pushed him out of the way and started sweeping up the mess with a broom. "Baka..."

"What? I'm the baka? How am _I_ the baka? You're the one who lost the soap in the first place and made your _guest_ help you look around for it!"

"SHINICHI YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY GOING TO DIE IF YOU SAY ONE MORE WORD," she gritted out.

Shinichi stayed quiet, and watched fearfully on as she continued cleaning up.

Finally, as she was tossing out the last pile of powder from the floor, she looked up at Shinichi. "You owe me a trip to the theater tomorrow for this."

"But this wasn't even my fau -"

"We're going to see 'Casebook of High School Detective Suzuki Sonoko' and that's final."

Shinichi groaned.

**AN: don't drop the soap**

**that is my only comment**


	35. Stars

**AN: Guys this one's a sad one watch out **

Aoko sat on her rooftop, counting the stars.

She counted one star, two stars, three stars, on and on and on forever.

There was a star in the sky for each person that died, each person that left behind others to grieve. Aoko felt like every single one of those stars was leaving her behind, and she was the only one left alive to count. She leaned against her chimney and kept counting. Four, five, six...

.

_"Aoko-chan," Sensei said, "your father's in the hallway."_

_And so she left the classroom, left what remaining normality she had left in her life, and went out to the hallway. Her father was there, as Sensei had said, and he was crying and crying like a lost child and suddenly she was scared. Her father never cried, not even when her mom had a miscarriage two years ago. Her father never cried, not even when he lost his job. Her father never cried, not even when his parents were finally laid to rest._

_But here he was, Nakamori Ginzo, newly-appointed officer of Ekoda, weeping his eyes out in front of his seven year old daughter who didn't have clue about what was going on. He led her out of the school, to their car, didn't say a word the whole time, but Aoko had a deep feeling what everything was about as she followed him out. She tried to ignore the knowing, apologetic looks the world was giving her, the knowing looks that would tell her that nothing was a lie and that this was her life._

_"Tou-san, where's Kaa-san?" She whimpered, once they got into the car._

_Ginzo stared at the steering wheel and didn't say a word. He gripped onto it and turned his knuckles white, and then he took a couple breaths. Finally, he closed his eyes and wiped away some of his tears. "There was a car accident, Aoko."_

_Wide eyes to fill her heart. She was crying, too, now but she didn't realize it or care._

_"Kaa-san was in it, Aoko," Ginzo said, more for himself than for her. "She isn't coming back home."  
><em>

_._

Aoko glared at the moon, kicked at the shingles on her house. She wanted to scream but her voice was gone.

It wasn't fair.

It just wasn't.

But - but when was life fair, ever?

.

_"And now for Kuroba Toichi's next trick," Konosuke Jii announced._

_Aoko knew it was supposed to be an easy trick. She had seen him practice it a million times, when she had come in to his rehearsals with Kaito after school was over. She didn't know the trick but she knew it was easy. Her eyes traveled to Kaito, who was leaned back casually in his chair. He noticed her gaze and smiled at her, pointing at the stage. "That's my dad!"_

_"Bakaito! I know that already!" She harrumphed. He frowned at her and resumed watching the show. She knew he was proud. After all, who wouldn't be? Everyone was proud of their parents... just like she was proud of her Tou-san for being promoted to Inspector of the Kaitou Kid Task Force! But Kaito didn't have to be so annoying about it, anyway. He didn't have to go rub it into her face that his dad was some famous man while her dad was a nobody..._

_BANG_

_Her attention to the performance returned. Horror was everywhere, flames were everywhere, death was everywhere. A second of inattention, look where that had brought her. Her mind refused to acknowledge facts and her body refused to cooperate. From every direction there were people fleeing the theater, and all the way in the front there were orange flames and dark gray smoke licking the ceiling and marching towards her. Kaito, to her left, was not responding._

_Kuroba Chikage was the one who rushed in and saved them both. Scooped both them up and ran away. Ran away from her husband, who she had vowed to never leave, through thick and thin, through sickness and health..._

_Nothing was the same after that._

_._

Some clouds passed by overhead and blocked out the moon. Aoko, of course, was damn fine with that, but it suddenly was too dark for anything now.

She stood up and turned around to face the chimney. It had crumbled bricks as its defining features, and a sad cement lining that was outlined in the darkness of the night. She hugged it and pressed her cheek up to the cold brick.

A gust of wind blew through. It was fall.

Chills went through her body, tingles went up her spine.

.

_"KID!" She called out to the empty roof. Her voice echoed around her._

_Her face, her voice, her world was furious. KID had done it now. Five nights in a row, he had held a heist. Five nights in a row, neither her nor her dad had had any sleep. Five nights in a row, her father had failed to do his job. Finally, on this last night, he had received the call from his Superintendent. He was being let go._

_This was two times, now, that he had lost his job._

_Two whole times._

_And they didn't even have enough money to fall back on._

_Nothing would be okay._

_"KID COME OUT RIGHT NOW," because she needed to yell at him and show him how it felt to have someone ruin your life._

_She heard a groan, or a whimper. Something. It sounded like "Aoko."_

_And that was when she saw him, a crumpled, red mess, laying in the corner of the roof. He was clutching his chest, his legs were curled up in fetus position, and just everything about him was distinctly un-KID like. But she wouldn't feel bad for him, not now, not ever, because this was what it felt like for the past ten years of her life. She approached him, confidently and not at all cautiously, because she knew now that she was the Big Bad Wolf and he was Little Red Riding Hood. Somehow, in a literal sense._

_"What the hell did you do to yourself?"_

_"...he foun ou..."_

_And then she saw the whole big picture, saw the whole little tiny person that was KID, and saw the even tinier whole little holes that he had in him. She backed away a bit. "Are - are you okay?"_

_His face turned towards her. She could see it all. Could see the broken monocle stuck in his eye, could see the blood falling out of his mouth, could see his eyebrows furrowed in pain, could see it all. His eyes weren't focused, one looking wherever and the other hidden and bloody and pierced with glass. She involuntarily fell to her knees._

_She couldn't find the breath to scream._

_He was gurgling on blood now and he reached his shaky hand out to grab hers. Even through the glove she could feel that he was cold. So cold. She dropped his hand out of fear, and gasped at the blood that had now transferred over to her palm._

_Her head couldn't think but through experience her body knew what to do. She reached for her radio and spoke to everyone on the frequency that KID's been shot, KID's been shot a million times and that he looked like death, and that she was absolutely freaking out and that he probably needed an ambulance or something. Even before she finished her sentence she heard sirens approaching. Which was admittedly not a good thing, because that meant that they weren't there yet. Like she said before, KID looked like absolute death._

_KID's hand was resting in front of her. It didn't move from where she dropped it. She looked at him, somehow, and mumbled out, "Sorry."_

_"s kay," He replied softly. He wasn't crying but she was. It seemed strange, since he was the one dying. He looked at her and choked out one last word. "Jii."_

_She didn't know what that meant, but she picked his hand back up and held it tightly. Because it felt like the right thing to do. She didn't stop looking into his eyes, even when he started blinking slowly, like a drowsy teenager going to sleep, and then finally closed his eyes for the last time._

_She knew when he closed his eyes that he didn't die immediately, but she knew it happened soon after._

His hand was stone cold by the time the paramedics got there.

.

The moon seemed to have died as well, she noted as she made her way to the side of the roof.

She stared down at the ground below her.

Wondered what she was doing all the way up here, three floors and six feet above everyone she knew.

There was only one way to change that, wasn't there?

She jumped.


	36. Hello

DING DONG.

"Oh. Sorry, Aoko, someone's at the door," Kaito apologized at his phone before putting it down. Aoko probably understood, even without a goodbye. She was smart, even though she was Ahoko. She was a smart Ahoko.

He made it to the foyer (or what his mom liked to call the foyer even though it most definitely should not have even counted as one) and opened the front door. A twenty-something year old - or maybe even a teenager, it was hard to tell - was standing on his doorstep, dressed precisely like Hakuba. The guy had a white short-sleeved dress shirt on and a black tie, which matched with his black pants. Kaito instantly regretted opening the door as soon as he laid his eyes on the book in the guy's hand.

"Hello!" the guy began enthusiastically. "My name is Elder Price, and I would like to share with you the most amazing book -"

"Ah, no thank you," Kaito tried. But the guy (also known as Elder Price, _apparently_) kept going. "It's a book about America a long, long time ago."

Kaito sighed and put his hands up. "Look, I'm really not interested in converting."

"It has so many awesome parts!" Elder Price shoved the book under Kaito's nose. "You simply won't believe how much this book can change your life."

Kaito tried coming up with more refusals to say, but it was hard. Life was hard. Everything was hard. He had freaking said the most obvious "go-aways" that he possibly could have and the guy still hadn't taken the hint. It didn't take a detective to figure it out. GO. AWAY. ELDER. PRICE. But he stayed and kept talking.

"Sound good?" Elder Price was smiling quizzically at him.

Quizzically.

What an odd word, Kaito snickered to himself.

But anyway.

Mormon at the door. Got to get rid of him.

And it wasn't so much that Kaito didn't like Mormons, as it was he just wanted to get back to his conversation with Aoko. Also, he was perfectly content with his current religion and had no interest in converting to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It just didn't really fit him. It'd cramp his style, that's what it'd do.

A vivid image occurred in his brain of Kid wearing what Elder Price was.

Said vivid image was set fire to. Um, mentally.

"No," Kaito responded, quicker than it seems to the reader because life.

Elder Price looked genuinely upset at this answer, but then shrugged his shoulders and said, "No thanks? That's fine. Have fun in Hell."

"HEY NOW!" A chubby looking guy wearing the same outfit as Elder Price - albeit in a lot more wrinkled fashion - bounded up the walk to the front door. Kaito supposed that they were partners. He also supposed that he should probably be getting rid of these guys because they were getting REALLY ANNOYING REALLY QUICKLY. And he probably was going to get really mad at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints VERY SOON BECAUSE HE WAS BEING PESTERED FOR AN UNSEEMLY AMOUNT OF TIME THAT FELT LIKE TEN HOURS BUT WAS ACTUALLY MORE LIKE THIRTY SECONDS.

"Hello," Chubby guy said, "my name is -"

"JESUS CHRIST!" Elder Price insisted, completely cutting off his partner. Kaito sensed a bit of tension between the two but decided not to ask because you know he didn't want anything to do with them. And he most definitely did not want them staying any longer than they had to.

"Go. Away."

"This book will give you the secret to eternal life!" The chubby one cheered.

"I don't care," Kaito tried.

Elder Price hugged his book. "Did you know that Jesus lived in the USA?"

"You can read all about it now in this nifty book - it's free, no you don't have to pay!" Chubby man added.

"Can we leave this book with you for you to just peruse?" Elder Price implored, nudging another book into Kaito's arms.

"I don't want it," Kaito said plainly.

Elder Fat Man added his book to the collection under Kaito's nose. "This book will save you so you don't burn in -"

"HELLLLLLOOOOO!" Elder Price over-enthusiastically opened his back pack and tossed copies of the book in the air so that they fell slowly down, like snowflakes sprinkling down upon the dew drops of the dawn-touched lawns. Kaito rolled his eyes and put his fist to his forehead as he felt a headache coming on. "Fine, fine, I'll take your book."

"ALRIGHT IT WORKED!" Elder Fat Man cried.

"YAYYYY!" Dozens of other Elders danced out of the bushes on the Kuroba lawn.

Kaito, of course, slapped his poker-face on and slammed the door.

He left the one book that had managed to get in on the floor and returned to his conversation with Aoko.

**AN: I blame this on school, and homework, and one too many times of listening to the Book of Mormon soundtrack. Um. To any of my Mormon/Latter-Day Saint readers out there, no this is not supposed to be offended I actually love everyone. If you don't already know what the Broadway musical "Book of Mormon" is, I suggest going to YouTube and searching "Book of Mormon HELLO" and clicking any one of the songs that come up. The songs of the musical are great, and catchy, but just a tad bit, I dunno, _offensive_. But it's k don't worry.**

**For those of you who already know about the Book of Mormon, I'm sorry that Elder Cunningham didn't get his famous line ("HELLO WOULD YOU LIKE TO CHANGE RELIGIONS? I HAVE A FREE BOOK WRITTEN BY JESUS") because um I kind of had to condense all the lines into a three person conversation, which I failed at. **

**Um**


	37. Haircut

"You are getting a haircut, and that's that!"

Chikage was angry. Why did that guy have to be so stubborn? Couldn't he just look at his hair and realize he had to get a haircut sooner or later? Besides, this was getting ridiculous. A guy his age shouldn't have a hairstyle like that. It just looked bad. He whined to her, all the same. "But I don't want to get a haircut! I like my hair the way it is!"

She huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. "Why do you always have to be like this? Honestly, you're just like Toichi!"

"And what's so bad about that?"

"Ugh, you are infuriating!" She tugged him to the hallway, where a full-length mirror was located on one of the walls. She made him face it. "Look at your hair! How are you not embarrassed by it!?"

"It's just a bit long, nothing much," he pleaded. He really didn't want to get that haircut.

"'Just a bit long?!' It's as long as my hair!"

"Oh please! You're exaggerating. And besides, what's so bad about long hair on a man? I think it's rather fitting for me," He shook his head and watched his hair flail about around him. Chikage put her fist to her forehead, feeling a headache coming on. "Look, you have to get a haircut that's more fitting for your age. Do you _ever_ see anyone in town that is your age with hair like that?"

"No, but -"

"So then I win! Get a haircut!" Why wouldn't he just settle?

"My hair makes me unique, though!"

"I WILL CUT YOU," Chikage screamed, before amending, "-r hair, that is."

"NOT IF YOU CAN CATCH ME FIRST," he hollered back, before taking off and scampering across the house. Chikage groaned to herself at his behavior and then took off in pursuit. He was infuriating. Absolutely infuriating. And honestly, he was acting like a kid. What was the big deal about getting a haircut, anyway?

"GET BACK HERE," she shrieked. "IF YOU DON'T GET A HAIRCUT I WON'T LET YOU GO ON ANOTHER HEIST EVER AGAIN!"

He had her beat, though. "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME STAY BACK! YOU'RE NOT MY MOTHER!"

"JII THIS IS GETTING REALLY RIDICULOUS," she called.

"I'M NOT GETTING A HAIRCUT!"

"YOU'RE SIXTY FIVE YEARS OLD WHY ARE YOU EVEN RUNNING AROUND?"

"I CAN DO WHAT I WANT!"

And thus the shouting continued, until half an hour later when Jii got tired, and Chikage managed to knock him out with sleeping gas. When he woke up, his hair was cut to a "proper" (proper being defined as whatever Chikage thought was fitting for his behavior) length. Screaming was heard for ten whole minutes afterwards, and then the world grew silent.

Jii would later be found crying himself to sleep.

**AN: OOC Jii and Chikage to the rescue wow guys wow**


End file.
